These small group studies of Philemon 11-16 contain commentary, cross-references, Bible study discussion questions, and applications. Visit our library of inductive Bible studies for more in depth inductive studies on this and other books of the Bible you can use in your small group.
Philemon 11-16 Bible Study – Paul Appeals On Behalf Of Onesimus
Philemon 11-16 Bible Study Video
Philemon 11-16 Podcast
Outline
I. Paul sends Onesimus back (11-13)
II. Onesimus is a changed man (14-16)
I. Paul sends Onesimus back (11-13)
Discussion Questions
• Why was Onesimus useless to Philemon?
• When does “formerly” refer to?
• What had happened?
• Why was Paul sending Onesimus back?
• What can you learn from verse 12 about Paul’s attitude toward him?
• What does it mean to forgive someone?
• What does Paul personally desire to do (13)?
Cross-References
Luke 6:31 – And as you wish that others would do to you, do so to them.
2 Corinthians 5:17 – Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old has passed away; behold, the new has come.
Ephesians 4:22-24 – To put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness.
Ephesians 4:32 – Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
Verse by Verse Commentary
1. Formerly he was useless to you –
A runaway slave is no good to his master. When Onesimus ran away to Rome, his usefulness to Philemon ended. Philemon no longer received any benefit from Onesimus, who was far away physically and in spirit.
2. Now he is useful to you and to me – Onesimus was transformed. We do not know the circumstances that led to him becoming a slave or what led to him fleeing. Some people became slaves when they sold themselves in order to pay a debt. Others were taken by the government for not paying their taxes or other crimes.
Whatever the reason, Onesimus had run away. Like most people in his position would be, he was likely bitter, frustrated, and angry at Philemon and life itself. It also appears that Onesimus may have stolen money from Philemon when he ran away (Philemon 17-18).
If his attitude remained like that and he was forced to return, he still would not be useful to Philemon.
3. Onesimus had repented –
The passage implies that Onesimus had repented.
Reflect – What signs of repentance can you see in Onesimus in this passage?
A. Onesimus was returning to Philemon – If he had not repented, he would not return. Paul and his team could not force him to go back. They were not soldiers. Onesimus could refuse, but didn’t. A change of direction is clear evidence of repentance.
B. Onesimus was a changed man – He was “useless,” but now he was “useful.” His attitude and demeanor had been transformed. That was the work of Christ in his heart to take away the bitterness and hate and replace it with love.
C. Onesimus had served Paul faithfully – Paul said sending him back was like sending his “very heart.” He wanted to keep Onesimus in Rome as his companion. Paul would not find such a great use for him if Onesimus was living in willful unrepentance. Onesimus had evidently been saved in Rome and now was serving as a faithful and upstanding member of Paul’s team.
Reflect – What do we learn from Onesimus about real repentance?
Application – Repentance results in a change of attitude and behavior. Onesimus was running from Philemon. Now he was going back to Philemon. We cannot say we are repenting if we refuse to face our mistakes, confess, and seek reconciliation.
4. I am sending him back to you / forgiveness –
The word “forgiveness” is not mentioned in the book of Philemon. There is no detailed doctrinal explanation of what forgiveness is. Nonetheless, it is a book about forgiveness. It shows us what forgiveness looks like in action.
Onesimus needed to forgive Philemon for whatever wrongs had been done to him. It was only by forgiving Philemon that he could return and face him. At the same time, Philemon needed to forgive Onesimus for running away and likely also for stealing some of his things on the way out.
This was a relationship that had been wrecked by sin. Even the very relationship itself (slave-master) was a result of the fallen condition of man after Adam and Eve’s rebellion in the Garden.
Sin creates a mess to clean up. And it produces resentment. Forgiveness is an essential ingredient in cleaning up the mess, fixing the problem, and bringing about true restoration. If either side was unwilling to forgive, no band-aid solution would work.
Philemon was to receive Onesimus. Forgiveness requires receiving the offending party. Philemon could have refused to have him back. He could have called in the authorities and had Onesimus tortured or killed. Or Philemon could have received him but harbored ill will and sought every chance to afflict Onesimus.
Paul asks Philemon to receive Onesimus back as “a beloved brother.” (Philemon 1:16)
Application – Is there someone you need to forgive? Is there someone who you refuse to receive their call, visit, gift, or letter? One important aspect of forgiveness is to open the lines of communication. Welcome the person. Hear them out. Or perhaps it is you who needs to take the initiative to reach out and seek reconciliation like Onesimus did.
5. Sending my very heart – Paul had gotten very close to Onesimus. He loved and cared for him. It was hard to see him go. Paul was imprisoned in Rome. Many people would not associate with him for fear of getting into trouble. Onesimus was willing to, and that was a blessing to Paul.
Onesimus was willing to be identified with a prisoner (whom some viewed to be a criminal.
For Paul’s part, he was willing to befriend a runaway slave (also a criminal in the eyes of the law at that time).
Application – Believers should not show discrimination (James 2:1-10). Jesus spent a lot of time with people who were considered outcasts. Like Him, we should love, care for, value, and willingly hang out with people from every level of society.
6. I would have been glad to keep him with me – Paul’s personal preference was that Onesimus stay with him in Rome. He had been encouraged through Onesimus’ service and friendship.
However, Paul did not prioritize his own feelings or welfare. Philemon needed to give up something to welcome Onesimus back as a brother. Onesimus needed to give up something to humble himself and return to the situation he ran from. To solve this issue, each person involved had to make a sacrifice.
Each of them was called to practice selflessness, as shown in Philippians 2:3-4.
Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.
Application – Are you involved in a relationship conflict? If so, is there something you need to sacrifice in order to solve it? The problem will likely never be solved if each person insists on his own “rights.”
II. Onesimus is a changed man (14-16)
Discussion Questions
• Why didn’t Paul just keep Onesimus with him since that is what he hoped for?
• What problems might result if Paul just assumed it was okay with Philemon for Onesimus to stay?
• What are the dangers of making assumptions?
• What do we learn from Paul about communication? About solving problems?
• What principles can we learn from Paul here that we can apply to our lives today?
• What does the phrase mean, “that you may gain him back forever?”
• What does verse 16 show us about Onesimus’ status and value as a believer?
• How can Onesimus’ story encourage people in lower socio-economic tiers today?
• How was Onesimus “more” to Philemon now than before?
• What can you learn from this story about forgiveness and restoration?
• How does being in Christ change the way we interact with people from every level of society? Criminals? Outcasts? The elite?
Cross-References
Proverbs 21:13 – Whoever closes his ear to the cry of the poor
will himself call out and not be answered.
1 John 3:17-18 – But if anyone has the world’s goods and sees his brother in need, yet closes his heart against him, how does God’s love abide in him? Little children, let us not love in word or talk but in deed and in truth.
Ephesians 4:32 – Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.
Verse by Verse Commentary
1. I preferred to do nothing without your consent – Paul could have just made an executive decision to have Onesimus stay with him in Rome. Then, he could have written and informed Philemon that this was best for all involved.
However, Paul did not take advantage of his office as an apostle. His status did not give him control over Philemon’s personal life. And if he had made a decision without Philemon’s agreement, he could have opened himself up to charges of conflict of interest and abuse of authority.
Paul wisely chose to appeal to Philemon.
Application – Every person who has authority over others can learn a valuable lesson from Paul. We are not to abuse our authority. Jesus said that we should not “rule over” others but instead serve them. Being a leader does not mean that we have the right to boss people around. And church leaders should not overstep that boundary and take charge of members’ personal lives. Parents should be humble and serve their children. Husbands should not use their role as head to domineer over their wives.
2. That your goodness might not be by compulsion, but of your own accord –
It would be better for Philemon to voluntarily do what was right than to be forced into it. God cares more about our heart motivations than our outward actions. Philemon would be robbed of a blessing (and an opportunity for growth) if Paul compelled him.
In every area of the Christian life, volunteering with a sincere heart is important.
3. God accomplished His sovereign plan –
Philemon 1:15 – For this perhaps is why he was parted from you for a while, that you might have him back forever.
God used this situation for good in each of their lives. The conflict was not enjoyable. But in the end, it resulted in Onesimus’ conversion as well as character growth for both of them.
Romans 8:28 – And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.
Application – You may also be facing strife in a relationship. Perhaps you feel that you have been mistreated. Maybe the unfair treatment is causing resentment to build up within you. Attack that resentment with the promise of God in Romans 8:28. Be assured that God wants to use even this trial for good in your life. It can be an opportunity for transformation. You can draw close to Christ and depend on Him. Maybe one day you will look back and see all of the good that came about because of the trial.
4. Have him back forever as a brother – We saw earlier that forgiveness involved receiving Philemon. Here we see it involved restoring Philemon. Forgiveness would enable their relationship to not only be healed but to be improved.
It is far better to have a brother than a slave! A slave could provide some financial benefit, but a brother in Christ could have an eternal influence. This appears to be a subtle request to free Onesimus.
If Philemon viewed Onesimus as a brother (rather than a slave), he would surely treat him in a kind and gracious manner. The following verses imply that Paul wanted Philemon to set Onesimus free and send him back to serve with Paul in Rome.
Application – It is better to have a spouse than a servant. It is better to have a child as a friend than a servant. It is better to have a friend than an employee. Do not treat the people in your life as servants. They are people with souls, and their purpose for existence is not your comfort or material gain. Instead, humbly serve others. Put their needs before your own, and you can gain friends for life.
Philemon Bible Study Guide – If this study is helpful, you can download the complete Philemon study in PDF or get the paperback from Amazon.
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