John 19:26-27 – Jesus’ Saying on the Cross – Woman Behold Thy Son
John 19:25-27 – But standing by the cross of Jesus were his mother and his mother’s sister, Mary the wife of Clopas, and Mary Magdalene. When Jesus saw his mother and the disciple whom he loved standing nearby, he said to his mother, “Woman, behold, your son!” Then he said to the disciple, “Behold, your mother!” And from that hour the disciple took her to his own home.
When you look at the seven statements of Jesus on the cross, this one appears the most ordinary. It doesn’t seem as profound theologically as “It is finished” or as desperate as “Why have you forsaken me?” or as spiritual as “Father, forgive them for they do not know what they are doing.”
It is simply a few last words from son to mother. However, when we unpack these words, we can see that even the simplest words of Jesus teach us important truths. Those truths are practical and relevant to our lives today.
Simple truths form the foundational principles for how we should live.
The first simple truth we learn from Jesus is:
I. Jesus honored His mother, fulfilling the law
Exodus 20:12 – Honor your father and your mother, that your days may be long in the land that the Lord your God is giving you.
In the list of the ten commandments, four deal with our relationship with God and six deal with our relationship with people around us. Those six commands are the core pillars of a healthy and functioning society. The first of those is to “honor your father and mother.”
A society is built on the family as the core unit. Healthy families make healthy societies. If children do not learn to obey and respect their parents, societies fall apart.
If anyone ever had reason to not honor parental authority it was Jesus. Jesus was the highest authority, Son of God, King of Kings. Yet when you look at Jesus’ life, you see at every point, He honored his parents/mother.
Luke 2:51 – And he went down with them and came to Nazareth and was submissive to them. And his mother treasured up all these things in her heart.
This verse was written about Jesus as a twelve-year old. Twelve-year olds are notorious for being rebellious. Jesus was not a typical twelve-year-old. He willingly submitted Himself to His parents.
Do you remember the first public miracle Jesus ever did?
He turned the water to wine at a wedding in Cana. Mary brought the lack of wine to Jesus’ attention and wanted him to do something about it. Jesus said that His “time had not yet come.” He wasn’t ready to publicly draw a lot of attention yet. However, because his mother asked, He helped. He did it behind-the-scenes so that His plans were not altered while at the same time caring for Mary. Her feelings and desires were considered while He still followed His convictions. That is the definition of honoring one’s parents.
So we see that as a child He honored His parents. At the very beginning of His ministry, He honored His mother. And now at the very end of His ministry, while hanging on the cross, He still honors her. These two exchanges serve as bookends on Jesus’ public ministry. They show us that His ministry was not separated from His personal life. He did not reject His family to do ministry. It was not either/or.
Many driven and ambitious people discard their families along the way. Some do this actively, viewing their family as an annoying distraction. Many more do it subconsciously, relegating their family below work.
Jesus perfectly fulfilled the law.
Matthew 5:17 – Do not think that I have come to abolish the Law or the Prophets; I have not come to abolish them but to fulfill them.
He fulfilled God’s calling for His life while at the same time performing His family duties. He made sure that Mary was well taken care of. Most scholars agree that Joseph was likely dead at this point, which is why the responsibility for Mary would fall to the oldest son.
Jesus specifically criticized the Pharisees for nullifying the command to honor parents for the spiritual-sounding reason of giving all to God.
Mark 7:11-13 – But you say, ‘If a man tells his father or his mother, “Whatever you would have gained from me is Corban”‘ (that is, given to God)— then you no longer permit him to do anything for his father or mother, thus making void the word of God by your tradition that you have handed down. And many such things you do.”
We serve God by respecting and honoring our parents. When we do this in the right way, it can never interfere with our God-given calling in our lives.
Application – Simple truth. Simple application. Honor your parents.
Reflection – What are some practical ways that, as an adult, you can honor your parents? How can you show respect to them even from far away?
• Physical provision
1 Timothy 5:8 – But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.
• Show concern for their life and well-being
• Show concern for their feelings and emotions
• Ask their advice
• Communicate. Call or message. What mother does not like it when her son calls?
• Gift-giving.
We should note that the responsibility of honoring parents does not go above obeying God. If Mary had told Jesus not to go through with the crucifixion plan, He would not have listened. His highest priority was the Father’s will. He could do this while still honoring His mother.
Sometimes, this can be very difficult. It is especially difficult when a parent is hostile to the faith. Consider how you can show respect while still maintaining your convictions. These should not be sacrificed.
II. Jesus prioritized the spiritual family over the physical
Reflect – Why did Jesus ask John to care for His mother instead of His brothers?
While Jesus’ statement shows the importance of His care for His family, it shows us more than that. It shows us that physical ties are not as important as spiritual ones. Being part of a spiritual family is even more essential than being part of a physical one.
How do we conclude that?
Mark 6:3 – Is not this the carpenter, the son of Mary and brother of James and Joses and Judas and Simon? And are not his sisters here with us?” And they took offense at him.
Jesus had at least four half-brothers and at least two half-sisters. Yet he did not ask any of them to take care of Mary. Instead, He asked John to.
I believe the answer is found here.
John 7:5 – For not even his brothers believed in him.
Jesus’ brothers had not believed in Him. Later, at least James would. But he evidently had not yet. Jesus wanted one of His followers to take care of Mary. He wanted someone who shared the faith. The spiritual connection was more important than the physical one.
To put it simply, John believed in Jesus. James did not. The normal way of the world would be for the oldest brother to take responsibility for the mom. But nothing about Jesus is normal. He doesn’t follow tradition for the sake of tradition.
Psalms 127:1 – Unless the LORD builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the watchman stays awake in vain.
Jesus could ask Mary to go into the home and be under the protection of James. However, that was not a home built by the Lord. Why send his mother into a home where God’s message was not believed and His own Son was not honored?
Throughout His ministry, Jesus stressed the fact that the spiritual family is more important than the physical.
Matthew 12:46-50 – While he was still speaking to the people, behold, his mother and his brothers stood outside, asking to speak to him. But he replied to the man who told him, “Who is my mother, and who are my brothers?” And stretching out his hand toward his disciples, he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother.”
Some of Jesus’ family had rejected Him, but He didn’t let that bother Him. He did not live to please His family. He was seeking God’s approval, not man’s.
What is the practical application of this?
#1 Seek out a spiritual family.
We need to be connected to a spiritual family. John could encourage, shepherd, support, and pray for Mary. Many times, these are things that our natural-born families cannot or do not do for us. If you have a family who supports you, stands with you, challenges you in the faith, counsels you wisely, and prays for you, count yourself blessed!
But many of you were not born into that situation.
The good news is that you can still have it. If you have been looking for that from your family, perhaps you have been looking in the wrong place. When you were born again, you were born into a new family. Seek out those people who can do these things for you. Mentors, friends, and counselors, you need them. If your family is not giving that, accept it for what it is. Then, take the initiative to establish relationships with people who will really help you in your spiritual journey.
#2 Do not live to seek your family’s approval.
Would Jesus’ brothers be happy about His decision to send Mary into John’s household? We don’t know. Likely not. But that was not really relevant. He was not seeking their approval. He was doing the will of God. We see that repeatedly from Jesus in His ministry. The driving force behind all of His decisions was pleasing the Father.
Sometimes we are crippled because our family does not approve of us. Sometimes we make decisions to please them. We try and try, but it is not enough. It can cause a lot of baggage and compromise decision-making. Perhaps you can please them. But are you doing what God wants?
Or perhaps you still cannot please them. Either way, it is the wrong goal.
1 Thessalonians 2:4 – But just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not to please man, but to please God who tests our hearts.
#3 Do not be unequally yoked.
You cannot choose the family you are born into. However, you can choose your family. What do I mean? You will likely have a family that is even closer than the one you were born into. That happens when you get married. You form a new family unit with your spouse. Jesus’ words show us that it is important to have a home where everyone shares the same faith in Him.
Get married to a believer and you will get two families for the price of one.
#4 Be comforted if you have a sorry family.
Let’s face it. Some people are born into sorry families. Divorce, abandonment, apathy, abuse, alcoholism, drugs, and more tear the family apart. Jesus’ words can bring you comfort. You don’t have a brother or your brother is not a nice person? In the church, you can find many brothers. You don’t have a sister or your sister is not a nice person? You can find many sisters in the church. Your father left you? Your Heavenly Father will never leave.
We should witness to our families and pray for them. Don’t give up on them. But don’t pin your hopes on them. Be comforted by the fact that the instant you trust in God, He brings you into a family far larger and closer than anything this world has to offer.
Disclaimer: This does not mean we should not care for our families. We have already seen that Jesus did. He honored His mother.
We should love them. We should do good to them, but even more to those who are in the faith.
Galatians 6:10 – So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith.
Or perhaps your loved ones have passed on and you feel lonely. Take comfort in the fact that when you come to Christ, He will give you a spiritual family.
III. Jesus was selfless (put another way, He served others even when He didn’t feel like it.)
The biggest thing that stands out to me from this passage is that even in the midst of this terrible affliction, Jesus was able to reach out with consideration for others.
Let us consider what Jesus was facing at this moment.
• He had been betrayed by a close companion, Judas, one of his disciples.
• He had been rejected and betrayed by His people whom He came and served. The nation that He was rightfully the king of, demanded His crucifixion.
• Most of His disciples had abandoned Him in His hour of need.
• He had been flogged with whips.
• He had been mocked.
• He had been spit upon.
• The crown of thorns had been pressed into His head, wounding Him.
• In this condition, He had been forced to carry the heavy cross to the place of crucifixion to the point He could not go any further with it.
• He had been stripped naked and publicly humiliated.
• Nails had been driven into His hands and feet.
Any one of these ten different things was a heavy affliction that would likely drive us to tears.
Think about how you react when you face difficulties. Generally, when we face trials, we want other people to listen to us. We want them to show concern. We want to experience empathy. Even when we have something as minor as a cold, we want others to take care of us. In short, when we are in times of hardship, we want the people around us to take notice and then serve us. Difficult times tend to make us more focused on ourselves. We become inward-focused. We throw a pity party with ourselves as the star and invite others to join in.
Jesus didn’t do that. Even in the middle of this disaster, He was thinking of others.
The ten things mentioned above are not the worst of it. The absolute worst thing Jesus faced was something unseen. He was forsaken by the Father. The eternal fellowship He had with the Father was broken. Instead of love, He felt something else. That was not even indifference. It was wrath. Because Jesus took on the sin of the world, the wrath of God was on Him.
Matthew 27:46 – And about the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, “Eli, Eli, lama sabachthani?” that is, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?”
Yet even in the midst of this, Jesus took the time and made the effort to make sure His mother was taken care of. Selflessness embodied Jesus and His ministry.
We see the same thing at the Last Supper. It was the last night before Jesus’ death. He knew He would die the next day. Yet, He didn’t seek comfort from the disciples. He didn’t look to be served. He didn’t ask for a shoulder massage. What did He do? He washed their feet. He served them by taking the job that no one else wanted.
Although the statement, “Woman behold they son. Behold thy mother,” is very simple, it shows us that while on the cross, Jesus was thinking of others. That, in fact, is the only reason Jesus was on the cross. It was the most selfless act in history.
Jesus was not just thinking about His mother while on the cross. He was thinking of each of us.
There are verses like John 3:16 that say that Jesus died for the world. But He also died for us individually. Both are true.
1 John 2:2 – He is the propitiation for our sins, and not for ours only but also for the sins of the whole world.
He is the propitiation for our sins. John tells His readers that Jesus died for them, personally.
Jesus died for you, personally.
John 10:3 – To him the gatekeeper opens. The sheep hear his voice, and he calls his own sheep by name and leads them out.
He knows your name. I believe that if you were the only person in the entire world who needed salvation, Jesus would have done exactly the same thing. He would have gone through the crucifixion for you.
Romans 5:8 – But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
Now that read that again, but instead of “us,” put your name into it.
One the cross, Jesus thought of His mother, making sure she had a temporal home on earth. But more than that, He thought of you, making sure that you have the opportunity to have an eternal home with Him.
Application
#1 – Appreciate His selflessness and sacrifice.
#2 – Consider your attitude toward others when you have faced sickness, pain, or trials. Do you become inward-focused and seek to be served? Let us follow Christ’s example in reaching out to serve others even when we don’t feel like it!
Review
I. Jesus honored His mother, fulfilling the law.
# 1 – Honor your parents in practical ways even if you live far away.
II. Jesus prioritized the spiritual family over the physical.
- #1 – Seek out a spiritual family
- #2 – Do not live to seek your family’s approval
- #3 – Do not be unequally yoked
- #4 – Be comforted if you have a sorry family
III. Jesus served others even when He didn’t feel like it
#1 – Appreciate His selflessness and sacrifice #2 – Follow Christ’s example by serving others selflessly even when you don’t feel like it.
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