These small group studies of 1 Peter contain outlines, cross-references, Bible study discussion questions, and applications. Visit our library of inductive Bible studies for more in depth inductive studies on this and other books of the Bible you can use in your small group.
1 Peter 3:1-7 Bible Study Commentary And Questions – Pursuing A Godly Marriage
1 Peter 3:1-7 Bible Study Video
1 Peter 3:1-7 Podcast
Outline
I. Wives be subject to your own husbands (1)
II. So that they may be won over (1a)
III. True beauty is on the inside (2-4)
IV. Follow the examples of godly women from the Bible like Sarah (5-6)
V. Husbands should honor their wives (7)
I. Wives be subject to your own husbands (1)
Discussion Questions
• Who are wives to be subject to? Who does this NOT include? Then who do the sisters who are not married need to be subject to?
• What does it mean to be subject to your husband? In what ways is this similar or different than the previous passages, which command servants to submit to masters and all of us to submit to authorities/governments?
• What kind of behaviors show a submissive heart?
• What kind of behaviors show an unsubmissive heart?
• How do you women feel about this command? Does it mean that in the Bible women are inferior to men (no)?
• If you were married, what do you think your husbands could do to make this easier and more pleasant for you? Guys, how could you make submitting easier and more pleasant for your wives?
• When do you feel it might be difficult to submit to your husbands? What if you are smarter than husband in a specific field (say finance)? What if your husband doesn’t want to lead or is afraid to lead?
• Are you willing to follow God’s directive in this area?
• As single women, what can you be doing now to help prepare yourselves to be this kind of woman?
Cross-References
Proverbs 31 – Read this passage for a more in-depth look at what God expects from an excellent woman.
Verse by Verse Commentary
1. In the same way – In the same way as what? In the same way that servants are to obey their masters and we are to obey the government, wives are to obey their husbands. The mutual submission theory (The idea that husband and wife are to submit to each other is comes from Ephesians 5:21. This refers to putting one another’s needs above your own and not to the same type of submission as Peter is referring to.) does not hold up in light of this passage. It is clear that God has designed authority structures in every area of life. He has put authorities into place in the political sphere (governments), the social sphere (bosses and masters), the spiritual sphere (elders over the church), and the family sphere (parents over children and wife submit to husband.) This should not be a surprise to us. God is an orderly God. He doesn’t want confusion and chaos. He doesn’t want there to be multiple people or groups striving to lead and bickering about who is in charge.
2. God has designed the family in much the same way that He has designed the church. See Ephesians 5 and 1 Corinthians 12.
Illustrations: A marriage is much like a basketball team. Each player has a different position. They are to work together in harmony towards a common goal. This unity and teamwork allow them to cover the deficiencies of one team member and enhance their strengths. No one player can win by himself. A team needs each other.
This is like how God has designed the church and how God has designed marriage. Modern women buck at the concept that they should respect and submit to their husbands because they feel that that means they are inferior or less important. This is clearly not true. See Galatians 3:28. God has designed different, but complementary roles for men and women. This is much like salt and pepper. Each has its own function.
3. This verse makes it clear that wives are to be subject to their own husbands. This is important because some men want all women to submit to them, but this unbiblical. As a woman, you are not required to submit to all men. If you are married you are required to submit to your own husband. This relationship takes priority over your relationship with a boss. If your husband and your boss want you to do two different things, you need to follow your husband.
This relationship also takes priority over your relationship to your parents. Once married, you have created a new family unit.
Genesis 2:24 – Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
There will be times when your parents want you to do one thing (for example take a certain job, move to a certain city, put your kids in a certain school, etc.); your husband may want to do another thing. In this case, you must follow your husband’s leadership and politely decline your parents’ suggestion.
At the same time, you are not subject to all men. A single sister should look to the church for Christian guidance.
All believers, male and female, are under authority. We must learn to be submissive first of all to God. If we don’t obey Him, then we won’t listen to human authority.
Sometimes God calls us to lead. When we do, we should practice servant leadership. Other times, He calls us to follow. During those times we should be good supporters and team players.
A side note to men: don’t try to command all the women around you. Certainly, if you are in a position of leadership in the church, you need to lead. Otherwise, don’t stick your noses where they don’t belong!
4. What can you as single women be doing now to prepare for submitting to your husbands?
Here are a few ideas.
• Develop your relationship with God and learn to submit to Him in all things.
• Learn how to be a good follower and supporter, especially at church.
• Be humble and respectful toward leadership; that includes church leadership or secular authorities.
• Ask advice from godly believers before making decision and be willing to listen to counsel.
• Honor and respect your parents.
• Pray for those in authority and be forgiving of mistakes.
5. Guys, what can we do to make this task easier for our wives?
II. So that they may be won over (1a)
Discussion Questions
• What reason is given in these verses for why the wives should submit? Will this be effective in reaching the husbands for Christ or helping them to grow in their current relationship with Him?
• What might a husband think about his newly converted wife if her behavior reflects this passage? How could this be more effective than using words to preach the gospel to him?
Verse by Verse Commentary
1. This verse is not giving an excuse for sisters to marry unbelievers. Other parts of the Bible are very clear that this is wrong (2 Corinthians 6:14-16.) However, it shows what a lady should do if she becomes a believer after getting married. Many women become believers and are, of course, excited and passionate about it. In their excitement, they start “sharing” with their husbands. Their husbands see them start to spend more and more time at church and fellowships and less and less time at home.
Next, they hear them endlessly “nagging” about the need to repent of sin and come to church, and perhaps even how they fail to live up to the biblical requirements for a husband. What would be the natural reaction to this?
Many husbands get fed up with it and want out. Peter gives the solution. Don’t be pushy. Show your husband the benefits of turning to Christ by showing him how much you have changed since coming to Christ. Keep living this way day after day. Put your husbands’ needs above your own. It won’t be long before he will notice a change. Pray and live out the Christian testimony in front of him. Maybe none of you are married to unbelievers. Great! Stay that way. But in all likelihood, you will meet sisters who are.
Remember to encourage them with this verse, so that they will know how to treat their husbands.
III. True beauty is on the inside (2-4)
Discussion Questions
• Are you beautiful?
• What is true beauty in God’s sight?
• Which kind of beauty will last?
• Which kind of beauty will attract the right kind of guy? (What is the danger if a guy is attracted to you for physical beauty only?)
• What can you do to develop this type of inner beauty?
• What kind of qualities do you think God wants you as a woman to have?
• Flip that around, and guys what application can we make from this?
A little survey:
• How often do you buy cosmetic products?
• How often do you go to spa, massage, fingernail, or hair treatments?
• How many bottles of lotions and other beauty products do you have in your bathroom?
• How much time do you spend on makeup or other forms of facial care each day?
• Now consider how much time you spend in prayer, reading the Bible and sharing the gospel.
Verse by Verse Commentary
1. True beauty in God’s sight is not about exterior looks. It is about the heart attitudes. Many women focus on their physical looks. They spend hours buying and applying makeup. They spend hours reading fashion magazines. They spend hours getting beauty treatments. They spend money on plastic surgery to improve their looks. They think they need to do this to “catch” a guy or to keep the guy they have. Other women starve themselves to get what they consider is the perfect figure.
These are unhealthy habits. If you do this, the guy you get will be the wrong kind of guy. If the guy is only focused on the outside, then what happens when you lose some of that beauty? When you lose that beauty, the guy who liked you just for your beauty may start to look around. Then he may leave you for a younger and more beautiful one. While it is not sin for a woman to clothe herself attractively, God’s emphasis is on a woman’s modesty and inner beauty, and it is a beautiful thing when Christian men show respect for women by controlling lustful thoughts and habits, while recognizing those qualities which are precious in God’s eyes.
2. Women, if you live your life to please God with your spiritual beauty, if God intends you to marry, the right guy will take notice at the right time and for the right reasons.
3. What can guys get from this? Guys are the ones who should be taking the initiative in relationships. When you observe a potential spouse, look for those deeper, inner qualities of beauty that please God. These are the qualities that will last.
4. Discuss each aspect of this inner beauty with your group one by one:
• Pure
• Reverent
• Gentle
• Tranquil
IV. Follow the examples of godly women from the Bible like Sarah (5-6)
Discussion Questions
- What is the relationship between hoping in God and submitting to one’s husband?
- How is submission to one’s husband an adornment?
- Why did Sarah call Abraham lord? Is that necessary for wives to call their husbands this? What did this show about her attitude towards him?
- Are there any other examples in the Bible of women who were submissive to the authorities, either husband or others?
Verse by Verse Commentary
1. A holy woman is one who submits to her husband. This is not a new concept, but is one that God planned from the very beginning at creation. This doesn’t mean it is easy though. Women, ancient or modern, are sure to struggle with this from time to time. Men are sure to take advantage of and treat women badly as they are doing in many Muslim countries today. But a Christian woman is still called to submit to her husband. She can do so with no fear and because of her hope in God. She knows that God is in control and that God commands her to do it. Therefore, although she may not be 100% confident in her husband’s sanity at all times, she can place complete faith in God, trusting that He will cause all things to work together for good, as He promised.
Romans 8:28 – And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.
We do see from this verse that although women are to submit to their husbands, God is still their highest authority. This shows that if their husbands tell them to sin, they can say “no.” This protects women from making their husbands their idols in life. While husbands should be teaching, encouraging, and shepherding their wives in the Scriptures, wives are still responsible to have their own personal relationships with Christ, and depend on Him even above their husbands.
V. Husbands should honor their wives (7)
Discussion Questions
• What does it mean “in the same way?”
• What is the role of the husband as seen in this verse?
• What are some specific ways a husband can treat his wife with respect? How can you let her know that you respect her?
• Knowing that the wife is weaker physically, what should the husband do?
• In what aspects do you need to increase your understanding for your partner? How will you do this?
• What does this verse show us about the respective values of the husband and wife?
• Knowing that both are heirs of God, how should the husband treat his wife?
• What does this verse say the results of a husband dishonoring his wife would be?
• What does this show us about the importance of a healthy husband/wife relationship?
• What are five practical ways in which husbands can demonstrate both their willingness & abilities as “learners” of their wives?
Case Studies
• You find out that your wife has not been reading the Bible regularly. She is discouraged in her walk with the Lord and is not being diligent. What is the loving thing to do?
• Your company offers you a promotion. It will mean more money for your family. But it will also mean you are required to do more OT and will have less time to spend with your family. What is the loving thing to do?
• You have been working OT and are tired. Your baby wakes up crying repeatedly in the middle of the night, making it difficult for you and your wife to sleep. What is the loving thing to do?
• You have just returned from a tiring day at the office. You want to just relax and browse your phone or watch TV for a while. Your wife starts telling you many details about an event that seems insignificant to you. What is the loving thing to do?
• Your wife has a bad habit of speaking before she thinks. You notice that she is saying some insensitive words to a sister at church. What is the loving thing to do?
Cross-References
Ephesians 5:25-33 – Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26 to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.
Verse by Verse Commentary
1. A husband has several basic roles toward his wife defined in these verses.
A. He should be considerate. He is to treat his wife with honor and respect. In Genesis after the fall, God told Adam and Eve that part of the curse is that men will dominate women. Since God has given men a measure of authority, they will naturally use their power and authority to suppress, control and exploit. Many men’s idea of leadership is to “lord it over” their wives rather than to serve them.
But Jesus expressly told His disciples that a true leader is a servant. A husband should never abuse his authority as head. In Ephesians 5 a marriage is compared to Christ’s relationship with the church. Christ is the head of the church, but He sacrificially gave His own life for her. That is a picture of how a husband treats his wife.
Illustration: A couple discusses where to go for lunch. The husband wants to go to a steakhouse while the wife wants Italian. A husband could say, “I am the leader. We go to the steakhouse! Meat!” But this is not how God wants husbands to use their authority. Instead, he should serve his wife and make choices to show his love, respect, and care for her. To love his wife, he may need to give up the steak and go eat Italian.
B. Some translations say that a husband is to “live with his wife in an understanding” manner. Learning one’s wife is a key quality that men need to exercise. Understanding one’s wife requires study and patience. What is your wife’s favorite food? What are things that cause her stress? What does she like for you to do for her on a date? What does she consider romantic? When she says, “everything is fine,” is everything really fine? Does she want to talk through problems immediately or have time to cool off? By truly understanding your wife, her emotions, her thought processes, her likes and dislikes, you can properly serve her by sacrificially loving her according to how she needs to be loved.
C. Women are naturally weaker than men. Therefore, men are to help take the pressure and load off their wives. Some ways to do this include carrying the baby, loading and unloading the car, helping get groceries, be quick repairing things around the house, give adequate time for rest, go to be bed earlier, etc. Men must understand that women are different, physically and emotionally. Instead of saying, “Why can’t she be more like me?” you should say “How can I know her better?” One key difference between men and women is that women generally like to talk a lot more. Instead of looking up from your computer and grunting a weak affirmation, focus on your wife and give her the quality time she needs.
D. Women are fellow heirs of the grace of life. Men and women have equal value in God’s sight. Although our roles are different and complementary, our value is the same. Different roles and positions do not equate to different levels of worth. We are not clones with the same functions and purposes. At the same time, two are better than one. Your strengths can help cover each other’s weaknesses.
E. The consequences of mistreating one’s wife are serious. In the verse, you can see that the prayer life of the inconsiderate husband will be hindered. In other words, a poor marriage effects the relationship between the man and God. God is basically saying, “If you don’t treat your wife whom I have given you well, then I will not listen to your prayers.” That in itself shows how highly God values women and how important it is for husbands to treat their wives well.
Application: Men, list out several specific ways you can show respect to your wives this week. Women, list out an area you want your husband to understand you better.
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