Singleness

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This is part one of a three part seminar given for training young Christian and women to serve the Lord in singleness. It was originally given in China, but is applicable to all cultures. Feel free to print them, copy them, or share them. For the rest of our series on serving God in singleness, be sure to read part 2 and part 3.

Singleness in the Bible Part 1 of 3

God’s Basic Design

Everything was good

1st Day – Light v3-5

2nd Day – The atmosphere (sky) (He did not comment that this was good.) v6-8

3rd Day – Dry land and seas v9,10

3rd Day – Vegetation, plants, and fruit bearing trees v11-13

4th Day – Sun, moon, and stars v14-19

5th Day – Sea creatures and birds v20-23

 6th Day – Cattle, creeping things, beasts v24-25

 6th Day – Man v26-31

Everything was good except for one thing! Perhaps you are thinking that God was speaking of sin entering into the world. Certainly sin is not good, but God stated that something was not good before the fall.

Gen 2:18 Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be aloneI will make him a helper suitable for him.”

Gen 2:22 The LORD God fashioned into a woman the rib which He had taken from the man, and brought her to the man. 23 The man said,

” This is now bone of my bones,

And flesh of my flesh;

 She shall be called Woman,

Because she was taken out of Man.”

24For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.

Just a few short verses later, Adam and Eve sinned against the Lord by eating the fruit. Probably everyone here knew that eating the fruit was the first sin, but without looking at your Bible, can anyone tell me what was the second sin?

Gen 2:25 And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamedThey had only pure thoughts!

Gen 3:7 Then the eyes of both of them were opened, and they knew that they were naked; and they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loin coverings.

What happened between 2:25 and 3:7 that completely changed their perception of themselves? You’ll notice that the very first thing that happened after they ate the fruit was that they became ashamed of their nakedness and made coverings for themselves. Impure sexual thoughts was the second sin.

Sexuality is not a bad thing. It’s a very, very good thing when properly exercised in the context of marriage. Because God has wisely and graciously created us to be sexual beings, husbands and wives have an opportunity for a wonderful, exciting, joyful, intimate, and pure relationship. Unfortunately, because of our fallen nature, we often choose sinful ways to try to fulfill our sexual desires. Whether single or married, we are engaged in an ongoing battle for sexual purity.

 

To Marry or not to Marry

Some Bad Reasons to Get Married

  1. Getting Older
  2. Pressure from parents
  3. All my friends are getting married
  4. Money/Security
  5. Loneliness/desire for companion
  6. Might be my last chance

Some Good Reasons to Get Married

  1. Not to burn with passion

2 Cor 7:8 But I say to the unmarried and to widows that it is good for them if they remain even as I. 9 But if they do not have self-control, let them marry; for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.

  1. Not good for man to be alone

Gen 2:18 Then the LORD God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him.”

  1. Two are better than one

Eccl 4:9, 10 Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor. 10 For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up.

  1. Be fruitful and multiply

Gen 1:28 God blessed them; and God said to them, “Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it; and rule over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the sky and over every living thing that moves on the earth.”

  1. Marriage is a Picture of Christ and the church

Eph 5:25-27; 31-32 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her, 26 so that He might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, 27 that He might present to Himself the church in all her glory, having no spot or wrinkle or any such thing; but that she would be holy and blameless. 31 FOR THIS REASON A MAN SHALL LEAVE HIS FATHER AND MOTHER AND SHALL BE JOINED TO HIS WIFE, AND THE TWO SHALL BECOME ONE FLESH. 32 This mystery is great; but I am speaking with reference to Christ and the church.

Serving God in Singleness

1 Cor 7:32-35

32 But I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord;33 but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, 34 and his interests are divided. The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. 35 This I say for your own benefit; not to put a restraint upon you, but to promote what is appropriate and to secureundistracted devotion to the Lord.

 

Marrying an unbeliever

2 Cor 6:14 Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? 15 Or what harmony has Christ with Belial, or what has a believer in common with an unbeliever? 16 Or what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; just as God said,

  • If, as a believer, you have ever been involved in a guy/girl relationship with an unbeliever (or maybe you’re involved with one right now), let me ask you a few questions. And please be very, very honest with yourself in answering these questions.
  1. Do you really think, based on God’s Word, and counsel from godly Christian friends that it is God’s will for you to be involved with this guy/girl?
  2. Would you rather pursue the relationship and hope it works out than obey God’s will and trust Him to provide the right one?
  3. Have you reasoned to yourself, “Oh, I’ll just go on a few dates to have a good time, but won’t become too attached”?

 

Heb 12:1,2

1Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,

fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith…

 

Rom 6:16

16 Do you not 1know that when you present yourselves to someone as slaves for obedience, you are slaves of the one whom you obey, either of sin resulting in death, or of obedience resulting in righteousness?

 

Qualities ladies should be developing and the guys should look for

Qualities a wife for Isaac should have & the Principle of Courtship:

Gen 24

24:1 Now Abraham was old, advanced in age; and the LORD had blessed Abraham in every way. 2 Abraham said to his servant, the oldest of his household, who had charge of all that he owned, ” Please place your hand under my thigh, 3 and I will make you swear by the LORD, the God of heaven and the God of earth, that you shall not take a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, among whom I live, 4 but you will go to my country and to my relatives, and take a wife for my son Isaac.” 5 The servant said to him, “Suppose the woman is not willing to follow me to this land; should I take your son back to the land from where you came?” 6 Then Abraham said to him, “Beware that you do not take my son back there! 7 ” The LORD, the God of heaven, who took me from my father’s house and from the land of my birth, and who spoke to me and who swore to me, saying, ‘ To your descendants I will give this land,’ He will send His angel before you, and you will take a wife for my son from there. 8 “But if the woman is not willing to follow you, then you will be free from this my oath; only do not take my son back there.” 9 So the servant placed his hand under the thigh of Abraham his master, and swore to him concerning this matter.

10 Then the servant took ten camels from the camels of his master, and set out with a variety of good things of his master’s in his hand; and he arose and went to Mesopotamia, to the city of Nahor. 11 He made the camels kneel down outside the city by the well of water at evening time, the time when women go out to draw water. 12 He said, “O LORD, the God of my master Abraham, please grant me success today, and show lovingkindness to my master Abraham. 13 “Behold, I am standing by the spring, and the daughters of the men of the city are coming out to draw water; 14 now may it be that the girl to whom I say, ‘Please let down your jar so that I may drink,’ and who answers, ‘Drink, and I will water your camels also’ — may she be the one whom You have appointed for Your servant Isaac; and by this I will know that You have shown lovingkindness to my master.”

15 Before he had finished speaking, behold, Rebekah who was born to Bethuel the son of Milcah, the wife of Abraham’s brother Nahor, came out with her jar on her shoulder. 16 The girl was very beautiful, a virgin, and no man had had relations with her; and she went down to the spring and filled her jar and came up. 17 Then the servant ran to meet her, and said, ” Please let me drink a little water from your jar.” 18 She said, “Drink, my lord”; and she quickly lowered her jar to her hand, and gave him a drink. 19 Now when she had finished giving him a drink, she said, “I will draw also for your camels until they have finished drinking.” 20 So she quickly emptied her jar into the trough, and ran back to the well to draw, and she drew for all his camels. 21 Meanwhile, the man was gazing at her in silence, to know whether the LORD had made his journey successful or not.

22 When the camels had finished drinking, the man took a gold ring weighing a half-shekel and two bracelets for her wrists weighing ten shekels in gold, 23 and said, “Whose daughter are you? Please tell me, is there room for us to lodge in your father’s house?” 24 She said to him, ” I am the daughter of Bethuel, the son of Milcah, whom she bore to Nahor.” 25 Again she said to him, “We have plenty of both straw and feed, and room to lodge in.” 26 Then the man bowed low and worshiped the LORD. 27 He said, ” Blessed be the LORD, the God of my master Abraham, who has not forsaken His lovingkindness and His truth toward my master; as for me, the LORD has guided me in the way to the house of my master’s brothers.”

28 Then the girl ran and told her mother’s household about these things. 29 Now Rebekah had a brother whose name was Laban; and Laban ran outside to the man at the spring. 30 When he saw the ring and the bracelets on his sister’s wrists, and when he heard the words of Rebekah his sister, saying, ” This is what the man said to me,” he went to the man; and behold, he was standing by the camels at the spring. 31 And he said, “Come in, blessed of the LORD! Why do you stand outside since I have prepared the house, and a place for the camels?” 32 So the man entered the house. Then Laban unloaded the camels, and he gave straw and feed to the camels, and water to wash his feet and the feet of the men who were with him. 33 But when food was set before him to eat, he said, “I will not eat until I have told my business.” And he said, “Speak on.” 34 So he said, “I am Abraham’s servant. 35 “The LORD has greatly blessed my master, so that he has become rich; and He has given him flocks and herds, and silver and gold, and servants and maids, and camels and donkeys. 36 “Now Sarah my master’s wife bore a son to my master in her old age, and he has given him all that he has. 37 ” My master made me swear, saying, ‘You shall not take a wife for my son from the daughters of the Canaanites, in whose land I live; 38 but you shall go to my father’s house and to my relatives, and take a wife for my son.’ 39 ” I said to my master, ‘Suppose the woman does not follow me.’ 40 “He said to me, ‘ The LORD, before whom I have walked, will send His angel with you to make your journey successful, and you will take a wife for my son from my relatives and from my father’s house; 41 then you will be free from my oath, when you come to my relatives; and if they do not give her to you, you will be free from my oath.’

42 “So I came today to the spring, and said, ‘O LORD, the God of my master Abraham, if now You will make my journey on which I go successful; 43 behold, I am standing by the spring, and may it be that the maiden who comes out to draw, and to whom I say, ” Please let me drink a little water from your jar”; 44 and she will say to me, “You drink, and I will draw for your camels also”; let her be the woman whom the LORD has appointed for my master’s son.’

45 “Before I had finished speaking in my heart, behold, Rebekah came out with her jar on her shoulder, and went down to the spring and drew, and I said to her, ‘Please let me drink.’ 46 “She quickly lowered her jar from her shoulder, and said, ‘ Drink, and I will water your camels also’; so I drank, and she watered the camels also. 47 ” Then I asked her, and said, ‘Whose daughter are you?’ And she said, ‘The daughter of Bethuel, Nahor’s son, whom Milcah bore to him’; and I put the ring on her nose, and the bracelets on her wrists. 48 “And I bowed low and worshiped the LORD, and blessed the LORD, the God of my master Abraham, who had guided me in the right way to take the daughter of my master’s kinsman for his son. 49 “So now if you are going to deal kindly and truly with my master, tell me; and if not, let me know, that I may turn to the right hand or the left.”

50 Then Laban and Bethuel replied, “The matter comes from the LORD; so we cannot speak to you bad or good. 51 “Here is Rebekah before you, take her and go, and let her be the wife of your master’s son, as the LORD has spoken.”

52 When Abraham’s servant heard their words, he bowed himself to the ground before the LORD. 53 The servant brought out articles of silver and articles of gold, and garments, and gave them to Rebekah; he also gave precious things to her brother and to her mother. 54 Then he and the men who were with him ate and drank and spent the night. When they arose in the morning, he said, “Send me away to my master.” 55 But her brother and her mother said, ” Let the girl stay with us a few days, say ten; afterward she may go.” 56 He said to them, “Do not delay me, since the LORD has prospered my way. Send me away that I may go to my master.” 57 And they said, “We will call the girl and consult her wishes.” 58 Then they called Rebekah and said to her, “Will you go with this man?” And she said, “I will go.” 59 Thus they sent away their sister Rebekah and her nurse with Abraham’s servant and his men. 60 They blessed Rebekah and said to her,

“May you, our sister, Become thousands of ten thousands, And may your descendants possess The gate of those who hate them.”

61 Then Rebekah arose with her maids, and they mounted the camels and followed the man. So the servant took Rebekah and departed.

62 Now Isaac had come from going to Beer-lahai-roi; for he was living in the Negev. 63 Isaac went out to meditate in the field toward evening; and he lifted up his eyes and looked, and behold, camels were coming. 64 Rebekah lifted up her eyes, and when she saw Isaac she dismounted from the camel. 65 She said to the servant, “Who is that man walking in the field to meet us?” And the servant said, “He is my master.” Then she took her veil and covered herself. 66 The servant told Isaac all the things that he had done. 67 Then Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah’s tent, and he took Rebekah, and she became his wife, and he loved her; thus Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death.

3          Abraham starts with the foundational quality. It is absolutely essential that she is a believer.

14,18   Kind, Servant heart

16        Beautiful (icing on the cake) Eph 3:20 Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly beyond all that we ask or think, according to the power that works within us,

16        Pure – Virgin (more icing on the cake) Back to the example of buying a pair of shoes. Would you rather get a used or a new pair of shoes? This is not to say that your wife to be will necessarily have been pure prior to becoming a believer. We live in a fallen world and God’s best for you may not include this.

20-22   Hard worker, Exceptional Servant heart (remember, this was a stranger), Very Diligent – Each of the ten camels could drink up to 200 liters. So she could have drawn as much as 2,000  liters (also 2,000 Kgs)!

24        Rebekah and Isaac were cousins (this practice was later forbidden)

25        Hospitable

28        Wholehearted, Energetic

58        Decisive, Strong faith

65        Discreet, Modest dress

67        Kind, Gentle, Compassionate

Courtship Part 2

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