Looking for what the Bible says about marriage? You're in the right place. This page brings together key Scripture and principles on marriage from across many different books of the Bible, along with practical commentary and everyday applications that can transform your life. Because this commentary is excerpted from Study and Obey's verse-by-verse book studies, every verse here has already been interpreted in its full context. As you study God's Word on marriage, we encourage you to reflect on how to apply what God is teaching you. Enjoy!

God's Design for Marriage: One Man, One Woman, For Life

Genesis 2:24 — "Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh."

Jesus goes back to the very beginning when marriage was established by God in Genesis. He quotes from Genesis 2:24-25 which says, he "made them male and female, `therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife and the two shall become one flesh.`" From the very beginning, God made His design for marriage clear. He established marriage. It is between one man and one woman. It requires the leaving of parents and it requires a cleaving to one another.

By quoting Genesis, Jesus shows that this is not a cultural principle. It is not a principle that changes for different times or different places. It is a universal principle rooted in creation itself where God revealed His perfect plan for marriage. It is a universal principle for ALL people, for ALL cultures, for ALL times. His design for marriage is the same today as it was in the time of Jesus, which is the same as in the time of Adam and Eve.

Reflect — What can you learn about marriage from the passage?

Marriage is established by God. God created Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve. Marriage is between one man and one woman for a grand total of two, thus showing that both divorce and fornication are sinful. Marriage requires a leaving from parents. Marriage requires a cleaving to each other.

— From our Bible study on Mark 10:1-12

One of the basic truths of marriage is that a newly married couple are to establish their own family unit independent of their own parents. This involves a leaving and a cleaving. A couple is to leave their parents. In addition to the geographical leaving, there is also a psychological leaving. Children should not depend on parents emotionally after their marriage.

A husband is first responsible to please his wife and consider her feelings and after this the feelings of his own parents. Many marriages have been ruined when a son lives to please his mother rather than his wife. When a couple leaves their parents, they are to cleave to each other, creating a new family unit. One aspect of this cleaving is weaving. Two lives are weaved together into one.

— From our Bible study on Ephesians 5:15-33

Marriage Is Honorable — Not to Be Despised or Forbidden

Hebrews 13:4 — "Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous."

This verse teaches us how we are to view marriage. It is to be honored. It is sacred. Satan has done everything he can to take marriage off of this pedestal. He has spread lies that have been believed and embraced, which tell us that marriage is "unnecessary," a "burden," "optional," "ties people down," "can be between two men," "can be ended at any time," "outdated," "old-fashioned," and so on.

He knows that strong marriages mean strong families which mean strong societies and strong nations and strong churches. Attacking marriage is just another branch of his attack on the truth of God. Remember that marriage is used as a picture of Jesus' relationship to us. That shows just how holy marriage should be. God chooses this most intimate and personal and joyous relationship to illustrate the depth of Christ's love for us. Every time marriage is defiled it tarnishes this picture of Christ and the church.

— From our Bible study on Hebrews 13:1-8

1 Timothy 4:3 — "who forbid marriage and require abstinence from foods that God created to be received with thanksgiving by those who believe and know the truth."

Paul gives a couple of examples of doctrines that sound quite spiritual on the surface. Proponents of these talk about self-denial, committing yourself to God, and being religious. But these things are not what religion is about. But in reality, God does not ask everybody to make these sacrifices. Marriage is good and holy, designed and approved by God. The Catholic church has prohibited marriage for nuns and priests. One need only read the news to see what kind of problems and scandals this has created.

Certainly, God does not require all people, or leaders, to get married. It is His will for some believers to remain single and dedicate themselves to a life of serving God.

The problem is not when some people make this individual choice. It is when the church or certain teachers "forbid marriage." They make it into a rule when it is a personal choice. Marriage, for example, is very serious. It can be very good and glorify God. It can serve as a picture of Christ and the church. It can be a great benefit for both sides. It can be God's will for a believer. But it is not always so. Marriages can also be quite harmful. If you get married to the wrong person, it is worse than not getting married at all.

Christians are not to make decisions "willy-nilly." Instead we prayerfully look at Scripture and seek God's guidance. When our motivation is pure and we genuinely are seeking the Lord, He will guide us.

Application — Whatever you do, do all for the glory of God!

— From our Bible study on 1 Timothy 4:1-8

The Husband's Role: Sacrificial, Loving Leadership

Ephesians 5:25-27 — "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish."

Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church. Husbands are instructed to love their wives as Christ loved the church. Paul sets a very high bar and points to Jesus as the example for husbands. So how did Christ love the church? He sacrificed Himself for the church. He never leaves or forsakes us. He put our needs above His own. He is always considering our good. He served us. He gave God's message to us. He loved us unconditionally. These are the ways a husband is to love his wife. A husband should not treat his wife like a slave simply because he is the head. Therefore, Biblical leadership is servant leadership.

Biblical love is unconditional and self-sacrificing. However, husbands are required to love as Christ did. That means husbands should take the initiative to show love in action to their wives, even when their wives may be in the wrong in some area. Hosea is a clear example of this. Over and over again he showed unconditional love to his wife, who betrayed him by being faithless.

Application — Wives, how would you like your husband to show love to you? What kind of things does he do to make you feel like you are loved? Husbands, how can you better practice servant leadership? What is one area you need to show love in action to your wives this week?

— From our Bible study on Ephesians 5:15-33

1 Peter 3:7 — "Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers."

A husband has several basic roles toward his wife. He should be considerate. He is to treat his wife with honor and respect. Many men's idea of leadership is to "lord it over" their wives rather than to serve them. But Jesus expressly told His disciples that a true leader is a servant. A husband should never abuse his authority as head. A husband is to "live with his wife in an understanding" manner.

Learning one's wife is a key quality that men need to exercise. Understanding one's wife requires study and patience. Women are naturally weaker than men. Therefore, men are to help take the pressure and load off their wives. Women are fellow heirs of the grace of life. Men and women have equal value in God's sight. Although our roles are different and complementary, our value is the same. The consequences of mistreating one's wife are serious. In the verse, you can see that the prayer life of the inconsiderate husband will be hindered. In other words, a poor marriage effects the relationship between the man and God.

Application — Men, list out several specific ways you can show respect to your wives this week. Women, list out an area you want your husband to understand you better.

— From our Bible study on 1 Peter 3:1-7

The Wife's Role: Respect, Inner Beauty, and a Working Heart

Ephesians 5:22-23 — "Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior."

God has designed authority structures in every area of life. He has put authorities into place in the political sphere (governments), the social sphere (bosses and masters), the spiritual sphere (elders over the church), and the family sphere (parents over children and wife submit to husband.) This should not be a surprise to us. God is an orderly God. He doesn't want confusion and chaos.

A marriage is much like a basketball team. Each player has a different position. They are to work together in harmony towards a common goal.

Modern women buck at the concept that they should respect and submit to their husbands because they feel that that means they are inferior or less important. This is clearly not true. God has designed different, but complementary roles for men and women.

This is much like salt and pepper. Each has its own function, but they are best when used together in complement. At the same time submission does not mean that the wives cannot share their opinions with their husbands or that husbands need not consider their wives. Neither does it mean that husbands should make unilateral decisions.

— From our Bible study on Ephesians 5:15-33

1 Peter 3:3-4 — "Do not let your adorning be external—the braiding of hair and the putting on of gold jewelry, or the clothing you wear— but let your adorning be the hidden person of the heart with the imperishable beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which in God's sight is very precious."

True beauty in God's sight is not about exterior looks. It is about the heart attitudes. Many women focus on their physical looks. They think they need to do this to "catch" a guy or to keep the guy they have. If the guy is only focused on the outside, then what happens when you lose some of that beauty? While it is not sin for a woman to clothe herself attractively, God's emphasis is on a woman's modesty and inner beauty.

Women, if you live your life to please God with your spiritual beauty, if God intends you to marry, the right guy will take notice at the right time and for the right reasons. Guys are the ones who should be taking the initiative in relationships. When you observe a potential spouse, look for those deeper, inner qualities of beauty that please God. These are the qualities that will last.

— From our Bible study on 1 Peter 3:1-7

Titus 2:3-5 — "Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled."

Love their husbands and children — Most instructions in Scripture aimed at wives are related to submitting to or respecting their husbands. Therefore, it is significant that this passage makes it clear that wives are, in fact, to love their husbands.

Reflect — What are some practical ways a wife can show love to her husband? To her children?

Be self-controlled — A maturing woman needs to be self-controlled. The context of this instruction is in family life. A godly wife should not allow her emotions to take over and cause her to lose control of herself by lashing out at her husband or her children.

Pure — Women are to be pure in action and the thought life.

Reflect — What are some practical safeguards that can help protect a Christian woman's purity?

Working at home — While this phrase does not preclude doing any work outside the home, it does highlight the home as the primary focus of her attention. Note that the wife is to "work" at home, not merely sit or relax at home. Managing the home well is difficult and takes a lot of work, but it is also very rewarding.

Reflect — What are some of the important tasks that a young woman "working at home" can engage in?

The older women were to mentor the younger. Their experiences in marriage, raising children, following the Lord, and many other areas were invaluable and vital to pass on.

— From our Bible study on Titus 2:1-5

Marriage as a Picture of Christ and the Church

Ephesians 5:32 — "This mystery is profound, and I am saying that it refers to Christ and the church."

Throughout the New Testament, the relationship between Christ and the church is pictured as a marriage. This illustration is used not because our relationship with Jesus is exactly like a marriage, but because there are many similarities. The husband is the head of the marriage and Christ is the head of the church. The husband should sacrifice himself for his wife and Christ sacrificed Himself for us. The husband is to love his wife and put her first and Christ did this for the church.

Marriage is a commitment and bond on both sides and our relationship to Jesus is as well. The wife is to submit to and respect her husband and the church is to obey Christ. The wife is a helper for the husband and we are to serve Christ and help Him fulfill the Great Commission. The bride is beautiful to the groom and we are beautiful and loved to Christ. God hates divorce and marriage was designed to be permanent. Our relationship with Christ will last forever.

Application — Our key role in this "marriage" is to submit to Christ as our head. A marriage will be filled with conflict and problems if the two sides both strive to be the leader. Christ is our leader. And we are to humbly follow Him.

— From our Bible study on Revelation 19:1-10

Revelation 19:7-8 — "His Bride has made herself ready; it was granted her to clothe herself with fine linen, bright and pure for the fine linen is the righteous deeds of the saints."

A marriage banquet is a joyous and exciting event! My wife and I looked forward to our wedding day with great anticipation. That day was one of, if not the most, important days in our lives. The Marriage Supper of the Lamb in heaven will be similar in some ways. Now we prepare ourselves for that day when we will be together with the Lord. We study the Word so that we can be better followers of Christ. We pray toward sanctification. We deepen our relationship with Him.

We have no righteousness of our own. Every good thing we can do is a result of God's grace. At the same time, like a bride, we are supposed to prepare ourselves to meet the Lord.

Application — Who are you seeking to please? Are you trying to please your boss, a parent, or a teacher? Or are you living your life to please the Lord? On her wedding day, a bride seeks to please her groom. Her eyes are completely on him and no one else. We too should seek to please Jesus above all others.

— From our Bible study on Revelation 19:1-10

God Hates Divorce

Mark 10:11-12 — "Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery against her, and if she divorces her husband and marries another, she commits adultery."

Jesus declares divorce and remarriage to be adultery. In these verses, Jesus makes it clear that the person who divorces and remarries is committing adultery. It is adultery for the husband and it is adultery for the wife.

Reflect — Why does Jesus consider this adultery?

When a couple gets married, they are joined together. In God's sight, this marriage is until death. While the law may recognize their divorce, God doesn't.

Application — "Not getting a divorce" and "not remarrying after a divorce" is a good start. If you are married you should make the commitment that you will never consider divorce as a plan B. There is no plan B, amen? You made a vow. Now keep it!

Believers should aim much higher than just "not getting a divorce." Many couples go through life in a practical "cold war" state. They share the same roof but are completely distant emotionally, spiritually, and physically. This is not God's desire for marriage. Is your marriage the best that it can be?

— From our Bible study on Mark 10:1-12

Malachi 2:14-16 — "So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful to the wife of your youth. 'The man who hates and divorces his wife,' says the Lord, the God of Israel, 'does violence to the one he should protect,' says the Lord Almighty. So be on your guard, and do not be unfaithful."

The wife of your youth — Men are to treasure their wives their whole lives and not trade them in for a new model when they begin to age.

You have dealt treacherously — Divorce or unfaithfulness are treacherous. They are betrayals. It is sinful. It is not acceptable in any way, shape, or form.

She is your companion — This Old Testament passage greatly elevates women beyond how they were treated at the time. They are not property. They are not inferior. A wife is a companion. Marriage is not a financial partnership or just a means to having children. Marriage is not two single people sharing a house. It is supposed to be a lifelong companionship.

Your wife by covenant — And this is what marriage is: a covenant. It is a covenant in front of God. I hate divorce. What more needs to be said? You can justify it, excuse it, or minimize it all you like. None of that changes the fact that God hates divorce. It is not His design. It is not His plan. It is not His will. It is treachery against God in front of whom the vows of marriage are made. It is treachery against the spouse. It is a terrible testimony to the world. It hurts the children. It hurts both husbands and wives. It tarnishes the name of Christ.

— From our Bible study on Malachi 2

Marriage as a Living Picture of God's Faithful Love

Hosea 1:2 — "When the LORD first spoke through Hosea, the LORD said to Hosea, 'Go, take to yourself a wife of whoredom and have children of whoredom, for the land commits great whoredom by forsaking the LORD.'"

God commanded Hosea to marry a "wife of whoredom." This phrase does not identify Gomer as a prostitute, but does highlight her unfaithfulness. If Gomer was already unfaithful at the time of the original marriage to Hosea, it would be more difficult to reconcile the moral implications of God commanding him to marry her. More likely, Gomer was faithful at first, and only later abandoned Hosea and demonstrated unfaithfulness.

Gomer would act as an allegory demonstrating the Israelites' unfaithfulness as a nation against God, while Hosea represents God's faithfulness and steadfast love. God looked forward in time and knew how many times Israel would rebel against Him, and yet still called them out of Egypt. In a similar way, Hosea looked forward in time and knew that Gomer would betray him. Yet just like God, he still acted in love and fulfilled his own covenant obligations to Gomer. Hosea must have unconditional love like God did or the object lesson would fail. And we will see that Hosea does just that.

Application — For the men, how would you as a single guy have felt if God had given such an instruction to you? What lessons do you learn from Hosea's willingness to obey God in this?

— From our Bible study on Hosea 1

The imagery of the relationship between God and Israel is like a marriage. By describing His relationship as a marriage, God brings to life the betrayal He experienced at the hands of Israel. In our human condition, we can easily imagine how much it would hurt to be married to an unfaithful spouse. As a faithful and committed husband, God would not let Israel go easily.

Application — We should be thankful that we have a God who cares enough to fight for us.

He is a jealous God. Jealousy is sin when it is misplaced. but a husband whose wife is with another man should be jealous! If he is not jealous, there is something the matter with him. That would be a terrible sin of apathy and would demonstrate a gross lack of love. Even when Israel was unfaithful, God was faithful. He continued to give gifts from above even when Israel was chasing after false gods.

Application — Who is someone you can show love to this week, even though they may not deserve it? What will you do for them to show your unconditional love?

A believer should never willingly divorce his spouse, but instead should always seek final restoration. God did not abandon Israel even when she rebelled against Him repeatedly for centuries.

Time and time again she stabbed the knife in the back of her White Knight, and yet, He still kept coming to save her. You should do the same for your spouse.

— From our Bible study on Hosea 2

Hosea 2:19-20 — "And I will betroth you to me forever. I will betroth you to me in righteousness and in justice, in steadfast love and in mercy. I will betroth you to me in faithfulness. And you shall know the LORD."

I will betroth you (Hosea 2:19-20) — God repeats this phrase three times. He will betroth Israel to Himself in "righteousness and justice," "love and mercy," and "faithfulness." And He will betroth Himself to them "forever." Forever denotes that all of the ups and downs of Israel's spiritual life will be gone. In the past Israel completely failed to accurately depict what a good marriage should look like, instead serving as a heinous illustration of an adulterous woman. The still future betrothal will be permanent and sweet.

Application — For the Jews this will be an awesome day. For those of you who are not Jews, why is this important for you?

— From our Bible study on Hosea 2

Choosing and Preparing for Marriage Wisely

It is her character that attracts him. In the entire four chapters, Ruth's physical appearance is not mentioned one single time. Why? Was she beautiful? Was she ugly? It is not mentioned because it does not matter. Thus, we can conclusively say that spiritual character is of the utmost importance, and appearance is way down the list. What is the one quality you should look for in Mr. or Mrs. Right? From this passage, we can see that it is not physical. The quality you should look for is an obedient heart. If you could only write one quality on your list, it should be "a person who obeys God no matter the cost."

— From our Bible study on Ruth 3

Boaz didn't waste time. Many men today seem to be afraid of commitment. While they enjoy the company of and attention from a girl, they are unwilling to take that final step and commit. Men out there, when it is time to act, be decisive. Don't waste young ladies' time and energy if you have no intention to move forward. If the relationship is not from God, end it. But if it is from God, then don't wuss around.

— From our Bible study on Ruth 3

Boaz was proactive. Notice that throughout the passage, Boaz is taking initiative. He knows what needs to be done, and he does it without wasting time.

Application — Men, you need to learn from Boaz here. Be men of action. Be proactive. When it is clear that a course of action is from God, do it and don't waste time. Also, don't be wishy-washy toward girls. Are you interested in a girl? Is the girl a believer? Have you prayed about it and received wise counsel? Are you ready for marriage? Then go forward! Take the next step!

Boaz was open and transparent. His actions are open and public for all to see because he has nothing to hide.

Application — Singles, your relationship should be open and transparent, entirely in the light. God has established the principle of asking counsel as a safeguard against our pride and subjectivity.

Boaz practiced clear and respectful communication.

Application — Men, if you want to start a relationship with a girl, be clear. Don't say something vague. You should be able to write down or express in clear words what your intention is and what the expectations are.

— From our Bible study on Ruth 4

In chapter 1, Naomi concluded that if Ruth returned with her, she would have no chance of ever getting married. Her entire outlook was gloomy and full of despair. Naomi even changed her name from "pleasant" to "bitter." There didn't seem to be any light at the end of the tunnel.

Naomi's attitude had changed from despair to hope. Naomi takes the role of a mentor and adviser. Young people in the world pridefully declare themselves to be masters of their own destiny and are quick to dismiss the opinion of others while elevating their own views.

Application — If you are interested in beginning a relationship, seek counsel. Even people who are objective in most things are not very objective regarding romantic relationships. Often we see what we want to see. God wants us to humbly seek wise counsel.

— From our Bible study on Ruth 3

Singles should prepare for a good marriage before marriage — Focus on glorifying God now as a single. Instead of setting your mind on marriage, set your mind on the things above. Be equally yoked. Marry a believer so that you can have a marriage that honors God. Discuss important issues together and find agreement before marriage. Observe your potential spouse in real-life situations to get to know them as well as possible. Some people say, "He changed after we got married!" He probably didn't. You just didn't know him well. Study the Word and Christian books to learn as much as possible about having a strong marriage before getting married. Do not say "I do" unless you are sure. No matter how much you want to get married. One thing that is definitely worse than being single is being married to the wrong person.

— From our Bible study on Mark 10:1-12

Building a Strong Marriage: Practical Wisdom

Believers need to aim much higher than just "not getting a divorce." Is "not getting a divorce" an acceptable goal? Is that all we want out of our marriages? Many couples share the same roof, but are distant emotionally, spiritually, and physically. This is not God's desire for marriage. Is your marriage the best that it can be?

Here are some practical ways for husbands to build up your marriage:

• Spend time together in the Word and prayer.
• Find time while you are out to call or text your wife. Ask her how she is doing.
• Be romantic.
• Surprise her with gifts or love notes.
• Kiss her anytime and "kiss her like you mean it."
• Go out of your way to be kind.
• Plan exclusive "date nights" for the two of you.
• Serve her.
• Turn off the electronics and TALK with your wife. Do not just talk or grunt while looking at your phone or computer.
• Develop mutual hobbies.
• Plan a getaway with your wife, not from her.
• Learn from your wife who she is. What is your wife's dream vacation? What is your wife's favorite food? What is your wife's love language?
• Play with your children. This one will indirectly help your marriage. Just as being a good husband is an important aspect of being a good father, being a good father is an important aspect of being a good husband.

Here are a few practical things wives can do to strengthen their marriage:

• Food. The guys love it. Someone very wise once said the quickest way to a man's heart is through his stomach.
• Build up your husband.
• Be supportive of his work, his career, and his ministry.
• Say positive things about him both in public and in private.
• Do not nag. Don't try to correct every small flaw you see in him. Find the right time to discuss issues rather than discussing them one by one.
• Be content. A man may feel self-worth in correlation to how well he takes care of his family.
• Be sensitive. If he is just back from a long day at work, it may not be the right time to share all of your day's difficulties with him.
• Be romantic. Surprise your husband. Use your creativity and imagination.
• Be a good mother. Make time to spend with them doing fun things. Your husband will love and respect you more as he sees and appreciates how you treat the children. At the same time, do not ignore your husband in favor of the new baby or young children.

These are just a few ideas, but you know your own spouse. Don't be satisfied with a marriage that scores a 5 out of 10 or an 8 out of 10. Make it better. The marriage relationship takes work. A good relationship doesn't come naturally or easily. Choose several of the ideas on the list and start doing them regularly. If you do, you will find that your marriage will be much more rewarding than before.

— From our Bible study on Malachi 2

Believers should not Marry Unbelievers

2 Corinthians 6:14-18

Do not be bound together with unbelievers; for what partnership have righteousness and lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? Or what harmony has Christ with Belial, or what has a believer in common with an unbeliever? Or what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For we are the temple of the living God; just as God said,

"I WILL DWELL IN THEM AND WALK AMONG THEM;

AND I WILL BE THEIR GOD, AND THEY SHALL BE MY PEOPLE.

"Therefore, COME OUT FROM THEIR MIDST AND BE SEPARATE," says the Lord.

"AND DO NOT TOUCH WHAT IS UNCLEAN;

And I will welcome you.

"And I will be a father to you,

And you shall be sons and daughters to Me,"

Says the Lord Almighty.

Thoughts: Paul here makes five contrasts here as to why believers should not be bound together with unbelievers. He contrasts righteousness and lawlessness. Believers have the righteousness of Christ. Unbelievers are enslaved to sin.

He contrasts light with darkness. Jesus has opened the eyes of believers and shown them the light. Unbelievers are in the dark, slaves of sin, and blind to the truth. Jesus also warned us to beware of "blind guides" (Matthew 15:14. On a side point, generally the two sides of a dating relationship will both give advice to the other side on many life issues. It would be unfair to be in this kind of relationship and never listen to the other side, but if you do listen to the other side it is listening to a blind guide.)

He contrasts Christ and Belial (that is Satan). No one can serve two masters (Matthew 6:24). There is no middle. Either we belong to Christ or we belong to Satan. There should be no partnership between the two.

He contrasts the believer and unbeliever. From 2 Corinthians 5:17 we know that the believer is a new creation, the old has gone and the new has come. One cannot mix old and new. (On another side note, the believer still has old flesh nature as well as the new nature. The unbeliever only has the sin nature, not the new nature. This will be two against one.)

Finally, he contrasts the temple of God with idols. As believers, even our body is a temple of the Holy Spirit. We are supposed to offer ourselves as a living sacrifice to God. Unbelievers are dedicated to fleshly desires: sex, money, security, big house, education, career, position, fame, etc. These cannot mix.

Even after that, he quotes God's command that we be separate from the world. Romans 12:2 tells us not to conform to the world or its ways. We have to be set apart and dedicated to God. How can we be set apart to God if we are involved in a dating relationship with an unbeliever?

Some believers say that they want to practice "missionary dating". This is dating with the purpose to lead others to Christ. Please read the other articles for the response to this. In short, this is never a practice condoned or recommended by God. He has already set His principles in this area that we should follow. It rarely, if ever, works. It creates possible wrong motivations for the unbeliever that will question any profession of faith that is made. And more often than not, it isn't really the reason a believer is pursuing the relationship. Rather it is a justification or an excuse to continue the relationship and fulfill their own desires.

The above verses are rightly applied by the evangelical church as a whole to include marriage. But most also agree it doesn't only include marriage, but ANY unholy alliances (see 1 Peter 2:9). This definitely includes dating/courtship relationships. Those involved in these dating relationship are clearly bound together. That is why when the relationship ends it is called "breaking up". You don't "break up" something that is not bound. The girlfriend would be very angry if her boyfriend had several girlfriends. Why? Because they are bound together, yoked together. They have committed themselves to each other, even if only for a period of time. Dating relationships will also bring an emotional bond. The two sides rely on each other for support and call each other when they need help. Why? Because they are emotionally bound. Also, many times this emotional bound will lead to physical bounding together in intimacy. It doesn't always lead to that, but the real temptation is possible and enhanced by the fact that one side doesn't have godly morals. It is already hard for believers to resist temptation and stay pure. It is much harder when one is not a believer.

Reflect — Which principle on marriage encouraged you?

— From our Bible study on Should Believers Date Unbelievers?

We hope you enjoyed this Bible study on marriage. May God use His Word to speak into your life and give you strength to follow it. Please take some time to reflect on the questions below and consider leaving a comment with your key takeaway or insight.

Reflection Questions

• What can you learn about marriage from the passage?
• Men, list out several specific ways you can show respect to your wives this week. Women, list out an area you want your husband to understand you better.
• What are some practical ways a wife can show love to her husband? To her children?
• Who are you seeking to please? Are you trying to please your boss, a parent, or a teacher? Or are you living your life to please the Lord?
• What did you commit to when you married? Are you fulfilling that agreement? How can you do even better?
• Who is someone you can show love to this week, even though they may not deserve it? What will you do for them to show your unconditional love?
• What are some practical things that singles can do to prepare for a strong marriage?
• What can you as single women be doing now to prepare for submitting to your husbands?
• What are some practical things that husband and wife can do to build up their marriage?
• Which principle on marriage encouraged you?

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