Preparing Your Family for the World and Eternity – Family Devotions

In Western countries, about 50-80% of youth in Christian families leave the church after high school.

The family is under attack. But God gives us what we need to prepare us to prepare our families for this onslaught.

This year our theme in GICF is building up the body. And I think it is not an exaggeration to say that the most important place to build up the body starts in our own families.

Today our passage is found in Deuteronomy 6:4-9.

Deuteronomy 6:4-9 “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

I. To build a godly family you need a firm foundation

A. Foundation Block #1: Believe in and rely on God

Deuteronomy 6:4-5 “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.

Here we see the foundation of a family which honors God. Firstly, it starts with a correct understanding of and belief in God. This means trusting in YHWH as the only true God. That includes accepting what He has revealed about Himself to us.

And secondly, you must have a relationship with YHWH. Verse 4 says the “LORD is OUR God.” This shows a personal relationship.

He is not just some powerful force out there. There is a relationship. There is a trust. There is a reliance on Him for everything.

Psalm 127:1 says this, “Unless the LORD builds the house, the builders labor in vain. Unless the LORD watches over the city, the guards stand watch in vain.”

The Lord is the one who actually builds our families. We cannot do it alone or they will collapse. We need to rely on Our God, the Master Builder.

I am less confident in my own ability as a parent than I was ten years ago. Parenting is not a formula. I and we need more prayer, trust, and reliance on God. He is the one who changes hearts. We can’t.

Psalm 73:26 says, “My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.”

As parents we will often fail. I am not standing here as someone who has all the answers. I have failed many times. I have lost my temper. I have responded in anger. I have been impatient. I have been too strict. I have been too permissive.

But God is our strength. The Lord is OUR God. He is there for us. He is the one who can change your child’s heart. He is the one who can protect your child in this dark world. He is the one who watches over your child when you can’t.

B. Foundation Block #2: Love God from your heart

In many bookstores, you can find a large self-help section on parenting. Many books with many ideas and methods. Where do we turn? God has given us everything we need for life and godliness. God’s Word has the answers.

There are many methods and tools, but this passage is the foundation of building up your family. It is the key for godly parenting. The key is that you love God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might.

Godly parenting starts with the parent’s relationship with God. If you do not love God, how can you teach your children to?

I have introduced my children to The Hobbit and The Chronicles of Narnia. I love these books. I do not introduce my children to books that I dislike or don’t care about.

If you don’t love God, you will not want to introduce your children to Him.

If you love God, verse 6 says that God’s commands will be on your heart.

Deuteronomy 6:6 – And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart.

What is the relationship between loving God and keeping His commands?

John answered this.

1 John 5:3 – For this is the love of God, that we keep his commandments. And his commandments are not burdensome.
God’s commands are not a burden that crushes us, but rather truth that frees us. His commands bring peace, blessing, and joy into our families.

Everything that parents are to do from verses 7 through the rest of the chapter flow naturally out of this love for God.

If you love God like this everything else flows out of this.
• You will enjoy teaching your kids and talking to them about God.
• You will naturally want to pray for and read the Bible with them.
• Your kids will see you relationship with God and your life will be stronger than words.

Parenting is difficult and time consuming. There will be many times when you are upset. Overworked. Frustrated. What will keep you going during those times?

Your love for God and His love for you will keep you going. This is the foundation. If the foundation is strong the whole house will be. But if the foundation is weak, the house will collapse.

I’d like for us to just take a moment right now and in your own hearts pray to God. Ask Him to help you love Him with all your heart, soul, and mind. Ask Him to build your relationship with Him and your home.

II. To build a godly family you need to teach your children

Deuteronomy 6:7 – You shall teach them diligently to your children.

Turn to a parent near you and ask, “Whose responsibility is it to teach your children?” YOU shall teach them.

A. Teach your own children

YOU shall teach them. The parents. Moses is saying this directly to the parents.

Sadly. this didn’t always happen. Joshua’s generation followed God. The next one didn’t. Eli followed God but his kids didn’t. Samuel and David followed God but many of their children didn’t. Some of these men taught others, but they didn’t teach their own children.

By all means, teach and help others. But don’t forget about your own children. Fathers, you are called to teach your own children.
I believe that most of you want to see your children following after God. Therefore, you make sure to send them to Sunday School.

You make sure they are out of bed and come to church with you. Many of you even send them to Christian schools to try ensure they receive a good Bible centered education. These things are very good. Good job!

It is a great start, but these things are still not enough. Because it is not the Sunday School or Christian school teacher’s responsibility to teach your children. It is yours.

I have been to churches where because of government policy, it was not legal for young people to be baptized or even to attend church.

The world will often say, “Wait to teach your children until they grow up and can decide for themselves what to believe.”

Let me translate this idea for you. What they are actually saying is, “Wait until we have brainwashed your children with secularism and then when you teach them the truth they won’t listen to you anymore.”

Do you ask your child, “Do you want to brush your teeth? “Do you want to eat green vegetables or ice cream?” You do not wait until kids can decide for themselves to teach them about these things. You should not wait to teach your children about God either. You can’t and shouldn’t force them to believe in God or be baptized but you should help them build a solid foundation in the Lord.

If you do not teach your children, make no mistake, someone else will.

Books like Tango Makes Three groom even very young children to accept homosexual marriage and trans ideas.

Application: Take the time to consistently teach your children the things of God.

This is not an easy thing to do. The strength to carry on comes from Him. He gives us strength when we are tired, inconsistent, and weak. He helps us learn and grow even to do this when we didn’t grow up with this background.

B. Teach your children diligently

“You shall them DILIGENTLY!”

This is not an easy or quick process. It takes a huge amount of time. And it takes a huge amount of commitment.

The average student will spend roughly 10-12,000 hours in class, plus thousands more hours of homework. Educating children is extremely time consuming.

Share. Be kind. Forgive.

If you are like me, you have gone over these lessons with your children many times. Parenting is not a one time shot thing where we tell our kids something and they do it forever.

The word “remember” is in the Bible 227 times. God is constantly reminding us, His children, to remember the lessons He has taught us. Children are the same. If you are a parent, you probably have heard your children say, “I forgot” when you remind them about an instruction. We did the same when we were kids.

This is why parents need to diligently teach their kids the Bible. Even in a neutral environment, your kids will easily forget God’s Words. But we are not in a neutral environment.

• Once I sat down with my son to read him a book about dinosaurs someone had given us. Almost every page talked about evolution and millions of years. It is not a neutral environment.

The world is diligently teaching our children its ideology. As parents how can we do less?

C. Teach your children in your house

And shall talk of them when you sit in your house.

What should you do? Talk

Do not be shy to talk about the things of God. Do not be shy to share with your kids testimonies of what God is doing in your life. Do not be shy to ask them about their walk with the Lord, their thoughts on Scripture, or their struggles. Do not be shy to talk to your kids about the tough issues, purity, sex, and relationships. If you don’t talk to them, someone else will.

Your faith should not be some secret and private thing. You should share it openly with your family. Talk to them about your own struggles and how God is working on you. Ask them what you can pray for them. Ask them to share what they see God doing.

Parents, it is your job to create an atmosphere that encourages communication and sharing. Your kids will follow your lead.
How much time do you spend talking to your children? And how much of that time is spent talking to them about Jesus compared to routine communication: make your bed, do your homework?

Where should you do it? At home

Your children need to see from you that there is no separation between your relationship with God and your everyday life. Learning of God and spending time with Him is not just a Sunday thing. If your children see you act one way when you are at church and another way when you are at home, that can harm their faith.

In your own house, you have the authority. You can train and educate your children relatively free of outside influence. The things they learn from you at home, will be the foundation for their life.

The concept is really simple. Call your family together. Open the Bible. Read it together. Then talk about it. Pray together. Worship together. And do it consistently! Some people call it family worship. Others call it family devotions. Or Bible time. The title is not important, but as parents you should be doing this with your children regularly.

Here are a few benefits:

• Learning to use the Sword – According to Ephesians 6, this is our offensive weapon. Your children need to know how to fight temptation. By training them with it every day, they can become proficient. Growing up, my family had family devotions 5 days a week, normally at 7AM. I didn’t always enjoy getting up that early, but in hindsight I know I learned more at family devotions, even in theology, than I did at Bible university.
• Addressing Questions – It is normal to have many questions or even doubts about God or the Bible. Your children need an open and safe place to talk about what is on their minds and receive real answers. In your Bible time, encourage your children to ask questions, even ones which you may think are silly. The world is a busy place with many things vying for our and our kids’ attention. Devotions are a time when you can open up and discuss meaningful things free of distraction.
• Practical application – One good habit is to ask each person to make a simple application from the Bible text that you read. You can ask your kids, “What can obey today?” It can be very simple like, “I will thank Mom for cooking for us.” The next day you can together check if you did your applications or not. Studying the Bible is not an academic exercise. It is supposed to change how we live.
• Prayer – The disciples asked Jesus to teach them how to pray. In similar manner, we should teach our children how to pray. As we pray together, we can look for how God answers.
• Worship – God created us to worship Him. This is not something to do only on Sundays at church. It starts in the home.

Just a side note to all who are singles or don’t have children yet; if you don’t have this habit even on your own, it will very difficult to start when you have a family one day. You should be spending time with God on your own and if you don’t have children, then talk to your roommates about it.

My hope today is that every family reading this will have regular family devotions. We will have workshop after the service where we can learn from each other and share about the challenges that we face. I believe it will be an encouraging time so I hope you will stay for that.

One study shows that children between 8-12 in the US spend 6 hours a day on electronics and teenagers 9 (not including homework time). Turn to your neighbor and say, “You can do a better job than an iPad!”

D. Teach your children in real life settings

Deuteronomy 6:7 – And shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise.

This means that you should talk with your kids about the things of God all the time and everywhere. It is not just a set time during the day. Talking about the Lord, His creation, and His Word should be a lifestyle. It is important to teach your kids in the classroom, at church, and in family devotions.

But teaching them in everyday life in real life situations is what is really life transforming. This is where they learn how to live out their faith.

As parents, we should make a habit to talk with our kids about the things they are seeing and experiencing in the world, both good and bad.

Here are a few examples of questions you can ask to start conversations:

• When taking a walk with little kids, you can ask them, “What do you see?” And then, “Who made that?” You can then talk about creation. “What is it doing?” Glorifying God.
• On the way home from church ask your kids, “What did you learn in Sunday School today?” Then talk about it.
• When your kids are mistreated ask them, “How does the Bible say you should respond?” Then talk about it.

There are many different ways to do this. But it is important to be intentional. Even as I was preparing this week, I was reminded of this myself. I don’t stand up here saying that I am perfect or always do these things. I need to be intentional.

Application Idea – Have one meaningful conversation with your kids about the Lord outside of normal Bible time each day.

III. The Final Exam

“What is your goal for your children?” You should be able to answer in ONE sentence.

We want our kids to be successful.

But Jesus said, “Apart from me, you can do nothing.” One day our children will stand before God. They will be called to give an account. Some may hold up their degrees and diplomas. Others owned fancy cars and gadgets. But if they did not have a relationship with Jesus, God will say, “Depart from Me, I never knew you.”

As a parent, I can think of nothing worse than this moment, hearing God say “Depart from me, I never knew you” to my child and then casting him into eternal hell.
But I can think of nothing more joyful than hearing God say to my children, “Well done, good and faithful servant. Enter into the joy of your Master.”

Every time before my wife was pregnant, we would pray together, “God do not give us a child unless that child will one day be your child.”

Brothers and sisters, this is final judgment is something that may feel far off and intangible right now. But it is real.

When your child has an exam, You make her prepare. How can you do less for the final exam?

Your children might not thank you now. But on that day, they will be glad if you took the time to teach them God’s Word and prepare them to face the Lord. Here is one testimony from a boy in our congregation who is thankful now.

Conclusion:

This is what Jesus said.

Matthew 19:14 – Permit the children to come to me.

We are in a war for our children’s souls. Satan wants them. But Jesus also wants them. He loves them more than you ever could. Help your children come to Jesus.

Proverbs 22:6 – Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

If you are here today and you are not a parent yet, you can join this battle too. Pray for the children. Encourage the families around you. You can also help to train up the next generation. And you can disciple spiritual children.

I think I know of no grander sight than that of a gray-haired man who has served the Lord Jesus from his youth up.” – Spurgeon

To finish, four applications. If you do these four things, I think it will make a great difference in your family.

• Regular personal devotional time
• Regular family devotion time.
• Regular spiritual conversations with your kids outside of devotions.
• Regular prayer for your children’s salvation.

Discussion Question –
• What are some challenges that make it difficult to be consistent in personal or family devotions? Share how you have (or plan to) overcome those challenges.