The Fruit of the Spirit is Kindness

The above video is an example of what not to do! Kindness is something we all struggle with at times, even to our own family members and people we love. Let’s dive in and consider how to grow in kindness with God’s help.

Galatians 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

Definitions of Kindness –

American Dictionary: The quality of being generous, helpful and caring about other people

The Kindness of the Lord

Romans 2:4 – Or do you presume on the riches of his kindness and forbearance and patience, not knowing that God’s kindness is meant to lead you to repentance?

The fruit of the Spirit is kindness. This is not the fruit of you. It is not something you can conjure up in yourself. The source of everything good is God. He models kindness.

Jesus is God in the flesh, so the best place to look is to Jesus, who always perfectly lived out kindness. Every response he made was perfectly kind.

Jesus to the blind man

Mark 10:46-52 – And they came to Jericho. And as he was leaving Jericho with his disciples and a great crowd, Bartimaeus, a blind beggar, the son of Timaeus, was sitting by the roadside. And when he heard that it was Jesus of Nazareth, he began to cry out and say, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!” And many rebuked him, telling him to be silent. But he cried out all the more, “Son of David, have mercy on me!” And Jesus stopped and said, “Call him.” And they called the blind man, saying to him, “Take heart. Get up; he is calling you.” And throwing off his cloak, he sprang up and came to Jesus. And Jesus said to him, “What do you want me to do for you?” And the blind man said to him, “Rabbi, let me recover my sight.” And Jesus said to him, “Go your way; your faith has made you well.” And immediately he recovered his sight and followed him on the way.

See the contrast as to how the crowds treated this man and how Jesus did. This man was a blind beggar. In the world’s eyes, he was unimportant, an outcast. He had nothing valuable to offer. He was an afterthought, an annoyance, a nuisance. When he shouted to Jesus for help, the people rebuked him. They didn’t listen to him or give him the time of day.

Now Jesus was leaving Jericho. He was a busy man. He had more on His plate than anyone else who has ever existed. He had to train up the disciples, preach to the crowds, heal, do miracles, and refute the religious leaders of His day, not to mention the rather important task of saving the world. Sometimes He was so busy He didn’t take time to eat. There were always demands on His time. He had somewhere to be.

But notice Jesus’ simple reaction when He heard this man yelling for Him. He stopped. He stopped. It is a powerful word. He stopped what He was doing and He made time in His schedule for this man. He called Him over. He talked to Him. He inquired about His need. He listened. Then He healed him.

So what do we learn about kindness from what Jesus modeled here?

True kindness comes with no strings attached

Some of you may be familiar with the Chinese term, “guanxi.” It means a relationship. I do a favor for you and you are expected to remember it and do something for me one day. You give me a Hong Bao (lucky money) for my wedding and I should remember and give that much to you or your kids. Most people are kind to rich and powerful people because they hope to one day get something in return. But someone like Bartimaeus has nothing to give. He has no money and no influence.

This is why James wrote this about true religion.

James 1:27 – Religion that is pure and undefiled before God the Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their affliction.

Orphans and widows can give nothing in return. True kindness comes with no strings attached.

Kindness makes time (values people over plans)

This may not have been a convenient time for Jesus. He was on a trip. He had somewhere to go. But He stopped. Do people in your life only need help when it is convenient for you? That’s not the case for me. Often, people need my help at the most inconvenient times.

When I ask people, “How are you doing lately?” one of the most common responses is, “Busy.” Business should not be used as an excuse to not take time for others.

Parents, make time for your kids. Spend some time to really look at and comment on their drawing, help with their homework, laugh at their joke. Husbands, make time to listen to your wives share about their day, even if it might seem like it takes longer than necessary.

Some people are task-oriented and some people are people-oriented. If you are people-oriented, wiggle your right toe. If you are task-oriented, wiggle your left toe. Both can be important depending on the situation, but those who are task-oriented need to be especially mindful of this point. I tend to be more task-oriented. I get things done. I keep the schedule and arrive on time. But sometimes that means I am not showing kindness to people around me. We have six people in our family and one (not to mention any names) is significantly slower than everyone else getting ready. For a long time, I had a hard time waiting patiently. But God has been teaching me the importance of being patient and kind. I have found that the kind way to address this is to graciously ask, “Is there anything I can do to help you as you get things ready?” Then the person feels loved and the task gets accomplished.

True kindness makes time.

Jesus’ kindness led this man to follow Jesus. The kindness of the Lord leads to repentance.

Jesus to the children

Matthew 19:13-15 – Then children were brought to him that he might lay his hands on them and pray. The disciples rebuked the people, but Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.” And he laid his hands on them and went away.

The disciples viewed Jesus as an important celebrity. Only VIPs were given access. But Jesus quickly overruled their decision. It was a small thing for Jesus, but it was a huge thing for the families. This simple gesture of kindness must have been remembered by the parents and their children for the rest of their lives. To them, Jesus would no longer be a stranger or an otherworldly figure. He was personal. He was friendly. He was interested in them as individuals. Jesus did not just preach to the crowds; He cared for the people, even the children.

Kindness values the overlooked

Some people command attention. They are loud and visible. Others blend in and are often overlooked. The religious leaders of Jesus’ day were hard to overlook. They dressed up in ornate robes and prayed loud prayers on the streetcorners. These were clearly the important people.

Yet Jesus focused most of His ministry on the outcast and the marginalized. He reached out to women, lepers, tax collectors, Samaritans, the lame, the blind, the sick, the poor, and here, the children. These were people used to being ignored or shunned. The children were probably used to being told to sit still and keep quiet. For these types of people, a simple gesture of kindness: a smile, a hug, or a warm compliment can make a huge difference in their lives.

Who is someone that you overlook? Can you take time from your busy schedule to let them know you care?

Kindness to pray

Jesus’ care for these children went deeper than just a smile or a hug. He laid hands on them and prayed for their spiritual well-being and future. Again, it was a very simple thing, but it was impactful.

In church, we have conversations with others and often hear about their difficulties and trials. It is powerful to just stop for a moment and say, “Can I pray for you now?” I hope this culture of praying for one another will be a core value of GICF to the extent that the children see us doing and start doing it themselves.

Jesus to the woman at the well

John 4:5-10 – So he came to a town of Samaria called Sychar, near the field that Jacob had given to his son Joseph. Jacob’s well was there; so Jesus, wearied as he was from his journey, was sitting beside the well. It was about the sixth hour.
A woman from Samaria came to draw water. Jesus said to her, “Give me a drink.” (For his disciples had gone away into the city to buy food.) The Samaritan woman said to him, “How is it that you, a Jew, ask for a drink from me, a woman of Samaria?” (For Jews have no dealings with Samaritans.) Jesus answered her, “If you knew the gift of God, and who it is that is saying to you, ‘Give me a drink,’ you would have asked him, and he would have given you living water.”

Jesus and His disciples were in Samaria. Samaritans and Jews were not on good terms. There was long-term hostility and resentment between the countries.

This is why the woman was shocked that Jesus would speak with her. He not only spoke with her, but asked her a favor, to get him a drink.

Jews considered Samaritans unclean. They avoided Samaritan food and vessels. Having water from her vessel was unthinkable for a Jew. There was a gender barrier, an ethnic barrier, and a moral barrier (as this woman was living in adultery).

The woman would have expected to be shunned or ignored at best, or treated rudely and with contempt at worst.

Jesus’ disciples were shocked as well. “Just then, his disciples came back. They marveled that he was talking with a woman.”

Asking for water turned all of that on its head. Jesus came with humility instead of pride and moral superiority.

One simple question broke the barriers and started the conversation.

Kindness sees people

This lady was not only avoided by Jews, but probably by her own people. She was at the well during the heat of the day, indicating she was an outcast. She had been with multiple men, so it is likely she had a bad reputation. Most people would likely judge her, view her as not worth of time, and move on.

Jesus didn’t do that. He saw her. He saw beyond her skin tone, ethnicity, gender, and clothing. He saw beyond her sin and her past. He saw her for her true identity. What is that?

She is an image bearer. She was created in the image of God. Her soul has immense value in God’s sight. But she was fallen. She needed redemption.

Jesus saw her eternal worth and value, not because of her actions but because of her identity as created by God for a higher purpose.

David recognized that God values man. In Psalm 8, he wrote this,”

Psalms 8:4-5 -What is man that you are mindful of him, and the son of man that you care for him? Yet you have made him a little lower than the heavenly beings and crowned him with glory and honor.

God sees you. He sees beyond anything you have done. He sees beyond any labels anyone else puts on you. He sees you. He knows your sin more deeply than you do. He knows your past. He knows it all. But He still loves you and wants a relationship with you. He created you for that.

How do you see people around you? Do you look at them with the eyes of Christ? Do you look past their color, education, level, and background? If we remember that people are souls created in God’s image and need Him, that motivates us to treat them with kindness.

Kindness to enemies

Being kind to people who are kind to you is not generally that difficult. It is expected.

Jesus said, “If you love those who love you, what benefit is that to you. Even sinners love those who love them…. But love your enemies and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return.” Luke 6:32-35

Who is the easiest to be kind to? Who is the hardest?

It is easy to be kind to a cute baby.

It is difficult to be kind to “enemies,” people who have treated us rudely. An eye for an eye is the norm.

Jesus showed us a different way. He was kind to a Samaritan. He was even kind to Judas on the night when Judas betrayed Him.

God calls us to be kind to rude and mean people. Sadly, there are a lot of people like that. I have worked in customer service for the online store my wife and I started. Most of our customers are very pleasant. But sometimes, we receive an angry email.

People use ALL CAPS and EXCLAMATION MARKS to show how upset they are. Some (who input their shipping address incorrectly) were furious that they didn’t receive the order. Another left us a one-star review because, although they said the wall art that we sent them was very good, we did not include a nail with it. Another was furious that we ruined their Christmas because the item was too small (although it was the size we wrote in our listing).

I have a fallen nature. It is difficult for me to respond with kindness when someone is rude for no reason. So sometimes I start to hammer out an angry reply. But I find it helpful to take a break, pray to the Lord for self-control, patience, and kindness, take a walk or go do something and then come back later to write the email. After that, I find it necessary to delete the angry words I was going to write and show kindness.

It is a fruit of the Spirit, not a fruit of me. A short prayer is so helpful.

Speak the truth kindly

John 4:17-18 – The woman answered him, “I have no husband.” Jesus said to her, “You are right in saying, ‘I have no husband’; for you have had five husbands, and the one you now have is not your husband. What you have said is true.”

Clearly, Jesus was kind to this lady. However, that did not equal glossing over her sin. He mentioned her sinful condition, but without condemnation. The world may have a false idea of kindness. They may equate loving someone with approving their actions. But loving someone is not equal to approving of their actions.

Jesus told the woman caught in adultery that He didn’t condemn her, but to go her way and sin no more. Zacchaeus was a swindling tax collector looked down on by his own people. But Jesus visited his house. That visit led to Zacchaeus repenting and returning the stolen money plus extra to those he had cheated. Jesus was kind, but did not condone their actions.

Kindness cares about a person’s soul. Jesus’ kindness to us is with the purpose of bringing us to repentance.

What do you do if your wife makes a terrible-tasting dish for dinner and asks, “How is it?”

It may seem kind to say, “It is wonderful, dear,” but it is not. I heard of a man who did this. He went on and on about how wonderful his wife’s meatloaf was. For fifty years, she made this meatloaf for him as a special treat. Only after that, she found out he didn’t even like it. She was ticked! She had wasted all of that time making this dish he didn’t like.

Graciously, find the right time and way to speak the truth.

Ephesians 4:15 – Rather, speaking the truth in love, we are to grow up in every way into him who is the head, into Christ.

Speak the truth kindly.

The result of Jesus’ kindness to the woman was that many Samaritans in that town believed in Jesus. His kindness led to repentance.

There is not enough time to share about all of Jesus’ acts of kindness.

• Jesus to the woman washing his feet
• Zacchaeus
• Lepers

God is kind. But not everyone thinks of Him as kind. Some people complain about His rules. Like Satan’s temptation to Eve, they think that God is somehow repressing them and taking away their right to freedom.

Fruit of the Spirit is Kindness

Let’s review what we have learned so far –

Kindness with no strings attached – Jesus offers you salvation and forgiveness with no strings attached. It is a free gift.

Kindness makes time – Jesus always has time for you. He always hears your prayers. He is never too busy for you.

Kindness to the overlooked – Maybe you feel like you have lived your life in the shadow of others. Maybe you are a middle child. Jesus sees you. Jesus values you.

Kindness to pray – Jesus prayed for the children. He prayed for you, too (John 17). Even now, He is at the right hand of the Father interceding for you.

Kindness sees people – Jesus sees and knows you. He knows you better than you know yourself. He knows the number of hairs on your head. He places immense value on you, even to the point that He died on the cross for you (not just for the world as a whole, but for you as an individual).

Kindness to enemies – You maybe didn’t know it, but you were an enemy of God, living in rebellion to the King and Creator of the universe. But Jesus offers you salvation and forgiveness. He extended an invitation to you to become His child and friend.

Speaking the truth kindly – Through God’s Word, He tells us what we need to hear. The Holy Spirit convicts us. The purpose is not to condemn, but to bring about repentance.

The kindness of the Lord leads to repentance.

Application –

You cannot give what you have not received. If you have never truly repented of your sins and placed your faith in Jesus, He invites you to do that today. He is not a harsh master, but a kind shepherd, gentle, compassionate, and empathetic. He wants the best for you. Come to Him.

If you are already a follower of Jesus, then follow Him. We are called to be kind as He was kind. We don’t do that by our own willpower. It is important that we decide we want that, but we have to go to the source. Kindness is a fruit of the Spirit. It comes from God.

Ephesians 4:32 – Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

As Jesus’ kindness to us led us to the Father, so our modeling of Jesus’ kindness to others leads them to Christ.

Jesus isn’t here physically for us to be kind to, so He calls us to serve and love the people around us. When we do, they see Jesus’ love in us and they are attracted to Him. There are unlimited ways you can do this, but I will just share one for each of our points today to get the ball rolling.

• Kindness with no strings attached – Consider giving gifts without calculating how much the other person paid for your gift or expecting a return. Enjoy giving.
• Kindness makes time – Make time for your children. Read them a story. Listen to their jokes. Give them a hug. Tell them you love them. BTW, don’t yell at them about homework or chores. Will your children describe you as kind?
• Kindness to the overlooked – Go outside of your social circle to befriend someone new. Greet a newcomer who looks lonely. Show kindness to someone who is alone in Guangzhou without family.
• Kindness to pray – Don’t just say, “I will pray for you,” but make time right away by asking, “Can I pray for you now?”
• Kindness sees people –
• Kindness to enemies and strangers – You are all nice people. You don’t have enemies, right? Think about the person who is the most annoying or rude to you. What act of kindness can you show that person?
• Speaking the truth kindly – Practice sharing your thoughts and opinions with a calm and gracious tone rather than yelling.

Many of these things are difficult. We need strength from God. Let’s pray and ask the Holy Spirit to help us be kind as Jesus is to us.