This is a 5 lesson Bible study for dating couples. It can be used by the couple themselves to study together or by a counselor guiding the couple to the Biblical truths regarding relationships, courtship, dating, and marriage. Rather than a lecture where the teacher or counselor tells all of his opinions about marriage, the goal of this study is to lead the couple themselves to discover the Biblical truth and important principles on marriage. Thus it is an interactive study where all are encouraged to participate and carefully study the Word to understand what God is telling us. Both sides should come to the Word with an open heart and freely share their own thoughts, questions, or doubts. By so doing you can get to know each other better as well as the Lord.
Bible Study for Dating Couples – Lesson 1 – How Can You Have a Healthy and Biblical Courtship?
2 Peter 1:3 – Does God give you the instruction you need in order to have a healthy courtship?
How can you find it out?
“Courtship” is not a term found in the Bible. Neither is dating. The word you use to call the relationship is not as important as following Biblical principles. And regardless if the exact term is found in the Bible or not, the Bible contains all of the principles you need as you pursue the possibility of marriage. They are not laid out in a list form so you will have to dig through the Word in order to discover the principles which will most important as you seek to have a healthy relationship.
Romans 12:2 – Where should believers NOT look to form principles for courtship? Where should believers look?
Are there any worldly influences which have shaped your relationship? If so, what? Are there any worldly practices in your courtship which you think you may need to change or adjust?
What should the central goal be of your relationship based on this verse?
2 Corinthians 6:14-15 – What can you learn from this verse about who you should pursue a relationship with?
Are there any other principles you can learn from this passage?
1 Timothy 2:9-10, 1 Peter 3:1-4, Ruth 2:11 –
What kind of things should you be looking for in a partner? Is the focus of these verses external or internal? Why is it important to focus on internal qualities rather than external?
What kind of things should you be doing in order to become the type of person God wants you to be?
Philippians 3:18-20, 1 John 2:15-17 –
What is the worldly approach to relationships? What are some “earthly things” which many couples set their minds on?
Based on these verses, what should you NOT do? What should you do? Are there any examples of areas where you need to either less earthly minded or more heavenly minded?
Psalms 143:10, 2 Corinthians 5:15, Philippians 4:8 –
Is your courtship God-centered? Are you together living for Him? In what ways has your relationship been self-centered if any? What are some specific things you should do in order to make your relationship more God-centered?
How can you spend your time together to make it more God-centered? Give specific applications.
Psalms 119:105 – How can God guide you in your relationship? What should do if you have a disagreement? Are you satisfied with the amount of time you spend together studying the Word? Why or why not?
Proverbs 3:5-7 – How else can God guide you in your relationship? Do you generally pray together when you face a disagreement in order to seek a solution or share your own understanding? Are you satisfied with the amount of time you spend together in prayer? Why or why not?
Proverbs 11:14, 15:22 – What principles can you learn from these verses? How can they be applied to courtship? When during a courtship is the time to get counsel?
1 Timothy 4:12, 1 Thessalonians 4:7-8 – What principles can you learn from these verses? How is God’s way different from the world’s way in the issue of purity? What is the common accepted cultural standard these days? What is God’s standard?
Romans 13:13-14, Ephesians 4:27 – Why might even “good” Christians fail in the area of purity? What does it mean to make no provision for the flesh? What kind of situations are dangerous?
Matthew 26:41, Romans 6:12-14 – How did Jesus’ describe the disciples? Have you ever found that your spirit is willing, but your flesh is weak? Are you satisfied with your performance as a couple in resisting temptation? Why or why not? What specific guidelines/standards should you set to safeguard yourselves against your weak flesh? Are there new standards which you need to discuss and set together?
Genesis 24:4 – What was the purpose of Abraham sending his servant on this mission? What is the purpose of your relationship? How would you describe your relationship now? What is your mission in your relationship? Is it purposeful? Are you moving forward toward a common goal?
Homework Passage – Judges 14, 15:1-5, 16:1-22, Genesis 24
1. Read the above passages. Answer the following questions on your own and then discuss together.
A. What can your learn from Samson about how to NOT pursue a relationship?
B. What mistakes did Samson make in seeking a wife?
C. What was the motivation behind Samson’s decisions?
D. How could Samson improve in communication?
E. What were the key problems in Samson and Delilah’s relationship?
F. What mistakes did Delilah make?
G. What do you think was the motivation behind Delilah’s decisions?
H. Compare and contrast the story of Samson’s failed relationships with Isaac’s marriage.
I. What principles can you learn from Genesis 24 that you can apply to your relationship?
J. What did Abraham do right? His servant? Rebekah? Her family? Isaac?
K. What are the key principles which guided decision making?
L. What character qualities does Rebekah display?
M. What do you notice about the servant’s communication? Was his communication effective? What Biblical principles did he follow? How can you apply these principles of communication to your relationship?
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