This is a 5 lesson Christian based marriage counseling course for couples. It can be used by the couple themselves to study together or by a counselor guiding the couple to the Biblical truths regarding relationships, courtship, dating, and marriage. Rather than a lecture where the teacher or counselor tells all of his opinions about marriage, the goal of this study is to lead the couple themselves to discover the Biblical truth and important principles on marriage. Thus it is an interactive study where all are encouraged to participate and carefully study the Word to understand what God is telling us. Both sides should come to the Word with an open heart and freely share their own thoughts, questions, or doubts. By so doing you can get to know each other better as well as the Lord.

Christian Based Marriage Counseling Course – Lesson 3 – Basic Truths Concerning Marriage

Lesson 1: A Healthy Courtship

Lesson 2: Principles of Communication

Lesson 3: Basic Truths of Marriage

Lesson 4: The Husband’s Role

Lesson 5: The Wife’s Role

Lesson 3: God’s Basic Truths Concerning Marriage

Read Genesis 2:18—25

Discuss these questions.

a) Why did God choose to make woman?

b) What does this tell you about the reason/purpose for marriage?

c) What are some worldly reasons for a couple to get married? What is the problem with these reasons?

d) How did Adam respond to God’s plan for his marriage? How about Eve?

e) What does this passage tell you about the status of woman?

f) What does it mean to “leave” your father and mother?

      1. What are your parents’ expectations for your marriage and life after? How about your expectations?

      2. How will you treat your parents after marriage? Will they live with you? Will you live with them? Will you rely financially on them? Will they rely financially on you? Do you plan for them to watch/raise your children? Do they plan on doing this? Do you anticipate any problems or disagreements? How will you handle it if those problems arise?

      3. What can you do before marriage and during the wedding preparation to show honor to your parents, but also help guide their expectations in a biblical way?

      4. How is your relationship with your potential future parents-in-law? How can you improve this relationship?

      5. How will you reach decisions such as how to divide time at holidays or whose mother will come to help after the birth of a child?

      6. Read Mark 7:11-12, 1 Timothy 5:8, and Ephesians 6:2. What responsibility do you have toward your parents after marriage?

g) What does it mean to become “one flesh?”

      1. In what aspects should a married couple be “one?”

      2. How can you create common goals? See Amos 3:3.

      3. How healthy is a marriage in which the couple lives separate lives with different interests, but lives in the same home? How can you prevent this from happening? To what extent can you weave your interests and pursuits together?

h) Read Genesis 1:31. What was God’s conclusion about all of His creation including marriage? Are all marriages today “very good?” What is the secret to having a “very good” marriage?

READ MARK 10:1—12

  1. What does it mean to be “one flesh”? (The key is verse 9)
  2. Is the process of becoming “one flesh” reversible? (verses 10—12)
  3. Have you consciously acknowledged between you that divorce is not an option for disciples of Jesus?

  4. Finish the following sentence based on this passage: “Marriage is…”

Think through the vows you are going to make and don’t make them unless you mean it!

Read Proverbs 20:6-7

a) What principles can you learn from this verse?

b) Is it easy for both sides to always be faithful? How can you practice unfailing love?

c) What challenge does this verse have for a father?

d) Why is a healthy marriage important for raising godly children?

Read Deuteronomy 24:5

a) What important principle about marriage can you find in this verse?

b) What can you do and what habits can you set in the first year to strengthen your marriage’s foundation?

Read Proverbs 15:17, Ecclesiastes 5:10, Proverbs 13:11, Proverbs 3:9, Proverbs 6:6-8

a) What principles can we learn from these verses about money?

b) Why is money such a common cause in marriage problems?

c) How will you prevent money from becoming a problem in your marriage?

d)Will you have a financial plan?

e) Who should make all the financial arrangements?

f) Who is quite good with money?

g) Who cannot manage money well? And ‘do either of you spend without thinking?

h) How important is dressing well to you? How many pairs of shoes do you have/need?

i) Are you a saver or a spender? Will you give up extras to save money?

j) Would you ever take out a big loan for anything?

Homework: Christian Love

Separately fill out the sheet by giving both you and your partner a score from 1-10 in each area. Then together discuss your chart and how you can each improve.

1 Corinthians 13: 4- 8

AMPLIFICATION

ME

Him /her

1

LOVE IS PATIENT

It is slow to lose patience

Doesn’t demonstrate irritations, or reflect anger or have a quick temper. Has fully accepted the character of the one being loved

2

IT IS KIND

It looks for a way of being constructive.

It is able to recognize needs. It discovers successful methods of improving or contributing to the other’s life.

3

IT DOES NOT ENVY

It is not possessive

It does not hold exclusive control. It is secure and not “clingy”.

4

IT DOES NOT BOAST

Doesn’t seek to make an impression or create an image for personal gain

5

IT IS NOT PROUD

It does not cherish inflated ideas of its own importance

It is not self—centered. It has the ability to change and to accept change. It is flexible. It doesn’t allow or expect 1 to revolve around itself

6

IT IS NOT RUDE

It has good manners

Has respect for others which results in set of Christ—centered standards. Has discretion. Knows what is proper and when

7

IT IS NOT SELF—SEEKING

It does not pursue selfish advantage

Does not have primary concern for personal appetites or social status but concern for the needs of the one and the families involved

8

IT IS NOT EASILY ANGERED

It is not touchy

Is not hypersensitive or easily hurt. Does not take things too personally. Is not emotionally involved with personal opinions so as to reject ideas is to reject the one giving them

9

IT KEEPS NO RECORD OF WRONGS

It does not keep account of evil

Doesn’t review wrongs that have been forgiven. Doesn’t dwell on past evil. Destroys evidence of past mistakes when possible

10

IT DOES NOT DELIGHT IN EVIL

It doesn’t gloat over the wickedness of other people

Doesn’t compare self with others for self— justification. Doesn’t use other’s evil to excuse personal weakness

Doesn’t say. “Everyone is doing it”.

11

IT REJOICES WITH THE TRUTH

It is glad with all godly men when truth prevails.

Is in active fellowship with dedicated Christians. Is occupied with spiritual objectives

12

IT ALWAYS PROTECTS

It cares for the weak

Has the ability to live with the inconsistencies of others. Has empathy f or the problems of others.

13

IT ALWAYS TRUSTS

It knows no end to its trust

It believes in the person and the person’s worth without question. It has no reason to doubt the person’s integrity

14

IT ALWAYS HOPES

It knows no fading of its hopes

It is not fickle. It has perfect peace and confidence that God is primarily responsible for the right time.

15

IT ALWAYS PERSEVERES

It has unlimited endurance.

It is able to outlast anything. It is able to endure all obstacles and even love in the face of unreturned love.

Study Husband’s Role