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The Tongue – A Topical Bible Study

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The Danger and Power of the Tongue

James 3:9-10 — “With it we bless our Lord and Father, and with it we curse people who are made in the likeness of God. From the same mouth come blessing and cursing. My brothers, these things ought not to be so.”

Both horses and ships are hard to control. But it is possible to control them. A small tool, a bit and a rudder, can help you to steer these powerful objects. They are small but hold great influence. In similar manner, the tongue is also little, but it too holds tremendous power. If you can control the tongue, you can control the body.

In verses 5-6, we see the amazing destructive capacity of the tongue. A fire starts off very small but can spread quickly and devour millions of acres before it burns out. A little spark in the right conditions can lead to expansive wildfires that destroy life and property. The tongue is the same. Words, once spoken, cannot be unsaid. Kids on playgrounds like to say, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” But the saying cannot be further from the truth. Words can hurt. They do hurt. Words can rip apart relationships, cause depression, and start wars.

King Solomon’s son, Rehoboam, discovered the hard way the harm foolish words can do. After he became king, the eleven non-Judah tribes came to him to ask that their workload be lightened. The elders encouraged him to speak gently, knowing that a “gentle answer turns away wrath.” But Rehoboam instead listened to hotheads.

1 Kings 12:14 — “My father made your yoke heavy, but I will add to your yoke. My father disciplined you with whips, but I will discipline you with scorpions.”

As a result, the other tribes revolted, and there was war for generations. Another example of words spreading like wildfire is the crucifixion of Jesus, as many of the same people that shouted “Hosanna” days earlier shouted “Crucify Him” because of the poisonous whispers of the Pharisees.

Reflect — So, should we cut out our tongues (or just not speak) to keep from hurting others?

Cutting out our tongues could, in fact, help us control what we say. We couldn’t say anything. With our words, we couldn’t slander, gossip, lie, boast, etc. But it would leave our hearts unchanged. We could then still use our body language, gestures, or writing to do those very things. The root of the problem is our sinful heart. The key is to let our hearts be regenerated, renewed, and cleaned, like David prayed to God to create in him a clean heart.

Application — Share a time when you have hurt someone or been hurt by words. Share some methods that help you avoid negative speech.

The solution to tongue problems is not to remain silent. Though the tongue is very powerful with the potential for great harm, it also has the potential for great good. That is why God gave us tongues! Without speaking, we cannot share the gospel. Without speaking, we cannot encourage others. Let us learn to use our words to pursue peace and build others up.

Application — Consider how to use your words to encourage others. This week intentionally speak edifying words to build others up each day. For example, you can aim to give at least three compliments to your spouse every day this week!

Some of my co-workers seem like nice people. Clean cut. They say kind things to one another and show care for people. But almost all of them, even the young ladies, curse. It was kind of surprising to me at the beginning to see these young, seemingly nice ladies suddenly curse in anger in the middle of the office. But it is quite common. Outbursts are inevitable unless the heart has been regenerated by the Spirit.

These verses tell us that tongues reveal the hypocrisy in our hearts. If the heart is evil, sooner or later, in some way, a person’s words will give it away. How many people curse or belittle their spouses on the way to church and then stand up, smile, and sing loud praises to God once they arrive?

Application — Spend some time evaluating your speech. Write down one or more areas where the Spirit has convicted you today and your speech has not honored God. Then spend some time in prayer. Confess your hurtful words to God. Ask Him to help you tame your tongue. If necessary, go apologize to anyone you have hurt with your speech.

— From our Bible study on James 3:1-12

Let Your Speech Be Seasoned With Salt

Colossians 4:6 — “Let your speech always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you ought to answer each person.”

Words are very important. Hurtful words can leave behind an aftermath of broken relationships, simmering anger, and sullen silence. Once spoken, words can never be unspoken. The world of social media exacerbates this problem. Many people have been shamed as old, hastily written and ill-thought-out posts have been dug up. In the digital world, once “send” is pushed, there is no going back.

That is why self-control is very important. Each of us should install a filter over our mouths, stopping to think before we speak (or push send). While the tongue can be a great evil, it can be a great good as well. The tongue has great power to heal, encourage, build up, and restore.

Paul says that our words should be seasoned with salt. In the ancient world, salt was something that preserved. Food was salted at that time, not primarily for flavor like it is today, but in order to prevent rot. Salted food provided sustenance, sustaining life and keeping away any form of corruption. In a similar way, our speech should bring life. The ultimate way our words can bring life is when we use them to tell people the good news of Jesus and teach His words.

Application — Think of one person who is in need of encouragement. Can you make an effort to get in touch with that person this week and build them up through your words?

— From our Bible study on Colossians 4

Lying Takes Many Forms

Ephesians 4:25 — “Therefore, having put away falsehood, let each one of you speak the truth with his neighbor, for we are members one of another.”

When people think of lying, they often think of something obvious and public. But there are actually many forms of lying that most people probably don’t consider lying:

• White lies
• Deception
• Misleading
• Cheating
• Betraying a confidence
• Breaking a promise
• Falsifying paperwork
• Evading taxes
• Covering up the truth

My wife and I watched a movie about a family who agreed together to tell their mother a white lie. She was diagnosed with cancer. In Asian countries, it is normal for family members to decide whether or not to tell the elderly about such cases. And many families agree together to tell them a lie that “everything is OK.” However, this lie was tearing the family apart. Someone may think he is doing others favors by telling a white lie, but he is not. God did not give any conditions, loopholes, or exceptions for a reason. The reason is that every lie is sin, no matter the motivation.

Application — Discuss common and accepted forms of lying in your culture. How should Christians face these issues? What is one area you need to take a stand for truth?

Take note that believers are not only commanded not to lie, but Paul tells us to “speak the truth.” Being silent when one should speak is also wrong.

Reflect — Is there a time when you knew you should speak out but didn’t? What did you do? Why?

— From our Bible study on Ephesians 4:17-32

Oaths, Promises, and Keeping Your Word

Matthew 5:37 — “Let what you say be simply ‘Yes’ or ‘No’; anything more than this comes from evil.”

Clever word games do not excuse lying, and if you say you are going to do something, no matter what words you use, and then you do not do it, it is a lie. This kind of making promises with no intention to keep them is the social issue that Jesus was speaking out against.

Reflect — Avoid phrases like “I swear on my mother’s grave” or “cross my heart and hope to die” or similar ones in your own culture. Think before you make promises. Don’t make promises that you can’t keep.

Do not lie or deceive in negotiations. For example, some people say to a clerk, “The most I will pay you is 20 yuan,” but then two minutes later agree to pay more. Be careful of making deals or signing contracts you will later regret. Read the fine print and understand. Your signature is like a vow. These days people break their word easily and for almost any amount of money. God holds us to a higher standard. Let us not look for loopholes to get out of what we have agreed to. Instead, let’s seek to be honest and transparent and men and women of integrity.

Application — Parents, keep your promises to your children. Did you tell them you will read them a story later? Do it. Did you tell them you would take them out to play? Do it. Many parents routinely break their promises to their children. When I was a teacher of young children in a training center, I heard parents promise children things after class in order to keep them quiet and well behaved. But after class, they don’t do it. Another parent brought his child to our house and he kept telling his child they would leave in a certain amount of time. But they didn’t, again and again. He freely admitted to us that he often used lying as a tool to get his son to cooperate. If you lie to your children, they will learn it. You will become untrustworthy and they may not believe you in important things.

— From our Bible study on Matthew 5:33-42

A Checklist of Tongue Sins

Titus 2:8 — “and sound speech that cannot be condemned, so that an opponent may be put to shame, having nothing evil to say about us.”

Speech is incredibly challenging for young men.

Reflect — What are some common problems many people face in the area of their speech? Here are a few common sins of the tongue:

• Gossip
• Idle chatter
• Lying
• Exaggeration
• Flattery
• Slander
• Indiscretion (spreading secrets)
• Cursing, harsh, critical, hot-tempered, rash speech
• Complaining
• Boasting

We need to ensure that our speech is above reproach. People begin watching us the moment they know we are Christians. Some do so out of curiosity, but others seek to find fault and show that Christians are fake.

Reflect — What is the secret to taming the tongue?

The heart is the key. There is no magical formula. While we should put a filter on our mouths, no filter can permanently or completely block what is in the heart. We need to come to the Lord and ask Him to transform our hearts, to fill us with charity and grace toward others.

At the same time, we also have an active role to play. We should consider how to build up the people around us and be intentional in the way we communicate. We can share the gospel, share testimonies, share from our quiet times, compliment others, praise others, be polite to others, listen to others, show concern for others, restrain our temper, etc.

People do notice. A person I knew was told by his co-workers that they never heard him cursing (others in that work environment did). That served as a positive example to his colleagues. Others knew he was a Christian and tried to restrain their own words around him.

— From our Bible study on Titus 2:6-10

Flattery: Manipulation Dressed Up as Praise

1 Thessalonians 2:5 — “For we never came with words of flattery, as you know, nor with a pretext for greed—God is witness.”

Flattering speech often comes from a person who has an agenda. False teachers may flatter others as they would then be easier to deceive. Salesmen use this method. But we should not engage in flattery. Ephesians 4:15 says to “speak the truth in love.” The truth is always best. Relationships built on flattery are built on shaky ground and are doomed to failure. Flattery is one kind of manipulation. We should not manipulate others into doing what we want. If you want a favor from someone, just ask.

— From our Bible study on 1 Thessalonians 2:1-9

Guarding Our Speech Toward Our Leaders

Hebrews 13:17 — “Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you.”

God has appointed leaders in the church for our good. Their job is to keep watch over our souls. This is a very serious and important task. These leaders need to be vigilant. They need to be active to observe the believers and move to act when sin is present. One day they will have to report to God for how faithfully they carried out their job as stewards over the flock.

Reflect — What are some ways that believers could cause grief (or trouble) to their spiritual leaders?

Don’t be the person who causes these leaders to lose sleep at night. Don’t cause divisions. Don’t complain and always second guess them. Don’t gossip about them behind their back. Don’t ignore their warnings and teachings.

Application — Pray for the leaders. The church would be a much better place if the flock prayed for their leaders (even when disagreeing with them) instead of complaining about them. Support and encourage them in their service. Don’t think about what you can get, but what you can give.

— From our Bible study on Hebrews 13:9-25

Boasting in the Lord, Not in Ourselves

2 Corinthians 10:17-18 — “Let the one who boasts, boast in the Lord. For it is not the one who commends himself who is approved, but the one whom the Lord commends.”

Boasting means to lift up or draw attention to something. Normally it is used in a negative connotation when referring to oneself. Boasting in the Lord is drawing attention to Him and lifting Him up. It is magnifying Him as the object of praise. Instead of saying, “I am great,” it is saying, “God is great.”

Application — Do you boast in the Lord? Our mouths should be filled with His praises. Our goal should be to draw others to Him.

Yahweh is on the throne. He is the judge. A person can praise himself, but unless God says, “Well done,” then those praises will amount to nothing. If getting praise from another person is better than from ourselves, then how much better is it to get praise from God! He is the Alpha and the Omega. God will give the final verdict on each person and His opinion is the one that matters. Therefore, we should strive to speak in such a way that would receive His approval, not merely the approval of man.

— From our Bible study on 2 Corinthians 10:7-18

Complaining vs. Thankfulness

Philippians 2:14 — “Do all things without grumbling or disputing,”

Sometimes verses contain profound theological truth that is difficult to understand and requires much thought and study. Other times it is a simple application. This verse falls into the latter category. Every person can read this verse and know what it means. But doing it is another thing.

I can think over my life and remember certain things that have “set me off” and caused me to complain. Here are a few examples: not being able to find something I need where I thought I put it; things breaking, like computers, phones, or door-knobs; people who are annoying, divisive, or demanding; just missing the bus or the train; inept and sinful governments.

Reflect — What is something that happens that tempts you to complain?

God’s word is clear here. God does not want us to complain. Ever! About anything! It says to do “all things” without grumbling. Our sinful natures mean we have a bias toward complaining. It is much more natural for us to complain than it is for us to be thankful. Words of complaint flow far easier out of our mouths than words of appreciation.

Application — How can we better control what we say to make sure we don’t complain? What is something that you sometimes complain about that you can thank God for now? How can we train ourselves so that gratitude will flow more easily than words of complaint?

— From our Bible study on Philippians 2:12-30

Don’t focus on the negative things or become a complainer. If you complain, against whom are you complaining? If I complain about the cold and wet weather, I am complaining against God. If I complain that my baby wakes up in the middle of the night, I am also complaining against God, who allowed this to happen, perhaps to build up my patience and compassion. God has a reason for everything.

Reflect — Can you share an example of something difficult that happened in your life that God used for good?

— From our Bible study on Philippians 1:19-30

We hope you enjoyed this Bible study on the tongue. May God use His Word to speak into your life and give you strength to follow it. Please take some time to reflect on the questions below and consider leaving a comment with your key takeaway or insight.

Reflection Questions

• Share a time when you have hurt someone or been hurt by words.
• What are some practical ways that you can reduce evil speech and use your words for good?
• Is there a time when you knew you should speak out but didn’t? What did you do? Why?
• What is one area you need to take a stand for truth in your own culture?
• Think of one person who is in need of encouragement. Can you make an effort to build them up through your words this week?
• What are some common sins of the tongue that you struggle with most?
• What is the secret to taming the tongue?
• What are some ways that believers could cause grief or trouble to their spiritual leaders through their words?
• Do you boast in the Lord, or do you find yourself seeking praise for yourself?
• What is something that you sometimes complain about that you could instead thank God for?